Christian sex ‘sins’ melt down on TV’s ‘Bachelorette’
‘Dude, choose a woman who loves Christ the way you do. Period’
Millions of Christians across America and the world are familiar with the Bible’s warning against having sex outside of marriage, and now that conflict has sparked a meltdown on “The Bachelorette” TV show and spilled into real life.
The stance by one Christian suitor, 24-year-old Luke Parker, to wait until marriage to have sex got him tossed out of contention by Hannah Brown, who rolled her eyes numerous times when Parker objected to the “Fantasy Suites” portion of the program.
It’s not that Brown wasn’t attracted to “LukeP” as he’s called on the air.
“The closest thing to love at first sight was probably with you,” the Alabama native admitted during Parker’s final episode.
But when it came to the possibility of Ms. Brown having sex with numerous partners, that’s where Parker drew the line.
“I don’t believe that’s something you should be doing,” he said, “and I just want to make sure you’re not going to be, you know, sexually intimate with, you know, the other relationships here.”
“Guess what? Sex might be a sin out of marriage, pride is a sin, too, and I feel like this is like a pride thing,” Brown responded. “I feel like I’ve finally gotten clarity on you and I do not want you to be my husband.”
After Parker asked if he could have a moment, Brown dropped a bombshell on him, saying she did, in fact, already have sex in a windmill twice with fellow contestant Peter Weber.
“I have had sex and, like, Jesus still loves me,” she declared.
The lovers’ spat continued off the air, on the internet, with the couple engaging in a fierce war of words over what constitutes sin, and how Christians should respond.
“The difference in how we view sin is seen in the response,” Parker indicated. “I’m weeping at mine and you’re laughing at yours. All sin stings. My heart hurts for both of us.”
Brown responded: “time and time again Jesus loved and ate with ‘sinners’ who laughed. And time and time again he rebuked ‘saints’ that judged. Where do you fall Luke? #TheBachelorette.”
Luke replied: “There is a difference between eating with sinners who laugh and sinners who laugh at their sin. Sin is the very thing that put Jesus on the cross and that’s not a laughing matter.”
Brown wasn’t through, though, as she alluded to a conversation Parker had with another kicked-off contestant, Garrett Powell: “I have never said that I find my sin funny. I’m not going to [be] lectured on appropriate emotional responses by a guy who threw deli meat in a guy’s lap.”
Parker then addressed the sexual encounter in the windmill.
“Your tweets about the windmill and the wood were enough, it’s not about the action it’s about the response. If you want to talk about it, you know how to get ahold of me.”
On Instagram, Parker admitted it hurt his heart that Hannah “felt I was shaming her.”
In our conversation my heart was never to judge or condemn Hannah. I was simply making a decision for myself on what I expected in our relationship, our conversations and our beliefs led me to believe we were on the same page about sex. For me it was never about getting a rose, it was always about finding a wife who would choose me everyday just as I would choose her everyday.
As for my time on the show I made mistakes and no I’m not perfect (crazy right) I didn’t totally behave as the man I want to be and I did not represent Christ the way I thought I was prepared to and that has broken me.
This journey has taught me so much and for that I am grateful but the greatest gift I have received is a compassion for those who love the world and it’s ways. My desire is to put the Father first above all things and share the truth that he has given to us all. Thank you everyone for the prayers always remember speak truth and rid yourself of all hate, let compassion drive your words. Stay tuned.
Some comments from viewers online include:
- “Stick to your guns. [Wait for] sex until you’re married. She is crazy anyways.”
- “Boy still can’t fully take responsibility for how crappy he is.”
- “I just don’t think this environment/setting was for you. I mean, how could someone not have controlling behaviors when a girl their dating is dating 30 other guys. I think the the guys who DON’T CARE that Hannah is mindlessly sleeping around/jumping naked is more concerning to me, than a man who finds it concerning and worth talking about? Clearly the TV show made you look like some narcissist. But I don’t think you are. I think @alabamahannah is just an airhead who uses grace as an excuse to have 0 control and overreacted. Her Bible quotes were her interpretation of the Bible. Any who. *Not a Luke fan but even more so not a Hannah fan. She slept with a guy she had no feelings for … (she never told peter she loved him …) I mean it’s worth being a little concerned about if you’re wanting to propose to someone within a week.”
- “Why is everyone confusing the words judgement and discernment. Obviously you have a standard you want to live by and it’s not unreasonable to desire a wife with those same standards and desires. Hannah doesn’t have a true relationship with Jesus. Because Christ says that ‘those who love me obey my commands.’ Dude … choose a woman who loves Christ the way you do. Period.”
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Michael Brown takes on controversy surrounding reality show’s pair of contestants
The headline announced, “‘Bachelorette’ star sends contestant home after sex before marriage spat, feud spills into Twitter.” Yes, “Sparks flew Monday night on the Fantasy Suites week episode of ‘The Bachelorette’ between star Hannah Brown and Luke Parker.” The sparks were flying over the issue of pre-marital sex.
Both Brown and Parker claim to be committed Christians, but for Parker, sex was to be saved for marriage. Not so for Brown, who told Parker she had had sex with another show contestant, not once, but twice. “I have had sex” she said, “and, like, Jesus still loves me.”
To be candid, I’ve never watched “The Bachelorette” (or “The Bachelor”), and I know nothing of Brown and Parker, other than what I’ve written here.
But I do know Jesus. And I do know the Scriptures. And the Word of God makes perfectly clear that sexual intimacy is a special gift for a husband and wife alone. Period.
To have sex before wedlock is called fornication. To have sex outside of wedlock is called adultery. And both are expressly forbidden in Scripture. Sex is too sacred to be squandered and abused and misused. It is for the marital bed alone.
But what of Brown’s statement, “Jesus still loves me”?
She’s absolutely right. He still does. He loves us when we sin, even repeatedly.
He loves us when we’re immoral. And when we’re proud. And when we’re greedy. And when we’re hateful.
Yes, He still loves us, even when we sin.
But that doesn’t mean He is pleased with us when we sin. That doesn’t mean He looks the other way. That doesn’t mean we haven’t grieved Him. And that doesn’t mean He will not discipline us in His love.
In fact, Jesus spoke so strongly against sexual immorality that He said we should take radical steps to prevent it in our lives, emphasizing that those steps would be far less costly than going to hell (Matthew 5:27-30).
Paul also gave warnings in the strongest terms, writing, “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. … For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience” (Ephesians 5:3–6).
The book of Revelation, the last book of the Bible, has this to say about who will enter the eternal, heavenly Jerusalem and who will not: “Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates. Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood” (Revelation 22:14–15).
Willfully practicing sin is terribly costly.
Again, it’s true that Jesus still loves us, even when we sin. And it’s true that, one way or another, we sin every day, either in thought or word or deed. Even if we don’t sin consciously, we still fall short of loving our neighbor perfectly, even on our very best day.
But Jesus loves us enough that He calls us out of our sin, rebukes us for our persistent and willful sin and warns us of the consequences of sin.
Hannah Brown said to Luke Parker, “Guess what? Sex might be a sin out of marriage; pride is a sin, too, and I feel like this is like a pride thing.”
And that, somehow, was justification in her eyes for having sex outside of wedlock. To paraphrase, “Well, I feel you’re bring proud, which is just as bad as having sex out of wedlock. So, if you can be proud, I can have sex.”
What she has sadly forgotten is that sex is sacred and that sin destroys. And that Jesus came to save us from our sins so that, from here on, we could live the rest of our lives in obedience to God.
The Lord does forgive us, freely and completely, laying down His life to save us from judgment and destruction. But salvation comes with requirements. God requires us to be holy.
As Paul wrote, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:18–20).
I pray Hannah Brown would take this to heart. In fact, I pray that each and everyone of us would take it to heart. We can’t let anything rob us of walking in the beauty of holiness.