VIDEO Child welfare boss who sent five rescued Turpin children to live with an alleged pedophile as foster parents are charged with molesting two of the sisters and torturing the others

  • Charity Douglas, 50, is the child welfare boss whose social workers sent five Turpin children to live with an alleged pedophile
  • DailyMail.com spotted Douglas smartly dressed in a navy print blouse as she left her home in Riverside County, California 
  • Douglas has run the Riverside County Children’s Services Division since September 2018 and she now faces questions 
  • Marcelino Olguin, 63, of Perris, California, has been charged with seven counts of committing a ‘lewd and lascivious act on a child’ and six of torture 
  • His wife Rosa, 58, and daughter Lennys, 37, have been hit with torture and false imprisonment charges for their part in the abuse

Charity Douglas, 50, is the child welfare boss whose social workers sent five Turpin children to live with an alleged pedophile

By RUTH STYLES IN PERRIS, CALIFORNIA, FOR DAILYMAIL.COM

PUBLISHED: 17:24 BST, 1 April 2022 | UPDATED: 21:21 BST, 1 April 2022

Police raided the Turpins’ four-bedroom house in Perris, California in early 2018 and found many of the malnourished children shackled to their beds by chains, living in unimaginable filth

Marcelino Olguin, 63, of Perris, California, has been charged with seven counts of committing a ‘lewd and lascivious act on a child’ and six of torture

Olguin’s wife Rosa, 58, and daughter Lennys, 37, have been hit with torture and false imprisonment charges for their alleged part in the abuse.

All three pleaded not guilty when they appeared in court in Riverside, California, on Friday. The judge set the next hearing for June 6. Marcelino was freed on $200,000 bond, while the two women are each on $50,000 bond.

According to court papers the family fostered four other children as well as the Turpins. One, a five-year-old girl was regularly left in soiled clothing and forced to stand for hours on end, charging documents say.

The nine children remained with the Olguins until their arrest in March 2021.

Asked to comment on the case, a spokesman for the Riverside Department of Public and Social Services said: ‘Neither DPSS or Charity Douglas are commenting as an independent investigation by the Larson firm is ongoing.’

That investigation into the county’s handling of the Turpin case is headed by retired judge Stephen Larson. It was due to report on by the end of March but that date has now been pushed back to May 31. 

A colleague of Larson’s has complained that his work has been hampered by lack of access to records.

DailyMail.com revealed exclusively on Thursday that Olguin allegedly touched two of the Turpin girls, one of whom was under 14 at the time, on their buttocks and upper thighs more than 50 times .

He ‘told them they were sexy, recommended they not wear undershirts, said they had beautiful skin, forcibly kissed them and pulled a minor on top of him,’ investigator Thomas Salisbury wrote.

Now we can disclose that Douglas’s beleaguered Children’s Services Division is currently being sued over another case that saw a baby boy savagely beaten and left with serious head injuries after social workers sent him back to his abusive mother.

Named in court papers as ‘Demetrius L’, the complaint says social workers had investigated his mother Lonnie Carranza 12 times over the abuse of her three older children in the five years before his birth but allowed the baby to live with her.

Less than two months after he was born in April 2019, Demetrius was rushed to the hospital with seizures and vomiting.

DailyMail.com spotted Douglas smartly dressed in a navy print blouse as she went to work in California

DailyMail.com spotted Douglas smartly dressed in a navy print blouse as she went to work in California

DailyMail.com spotted Douglas smartly dressed in a navy print blouse as she went to work in California 

Marcelino and Rosa Olguin are pictured at their arraignment for child abuse charges against multiple foster children in December 

Soon after the children were found in 2019, five of the siblings were placed in a foster care at Olguin's five-bedroom home in Perris, California

Soon after the children were found in 2019, five of the siblings were placed in a foster care at Olguin’s five-bedroom home in Perris, California

A doctor who examined the baby said he was the victim of ‘abusive head trauma, that this was not a one-time injury, and that he may suffer long-term developmental consequences.’

Although Carranza was arrested in May 2020 social workers from the Children’s Services Division decided to allow her unsupervised visits with Demetrius.

Incredibly, despite noting that Demetrius was ‘regressing’ after the unsupervised visits, social workers decided to return him to Carranza’s care permanently in June 2020.

A month later, the baby was referred back to Douglas’s department after sustaining ‘a large lump on the side of his head’.

Deon Austin Welch was sentenced to 230 years in prison for repeatedly raping his girlfriend's underage daughter

Deon Austin Welch was sentenced to 230 years in prison for repeatedly raping his girlfriend’s underage daughter

Carranza claimed it happened after he got excited. And although a social worker noted he had a scratch on his cheek ‘consistent with a fingernail’ and was not walking or talking, the baby still wasn’t taken away.

Finally, in December 2020, Demetrius was rushed to hospital again – this time with a life-threatening brain bleed that medics said was consistent with abuse.

According to the lawsuit, which was filed in July 2021, despite knowing of Carranza’s abusive behavior, social workers ‘simply refused to do their jobs and instead looked for any opportunity to close their files and avoid taking meaningful action’.

The lawsuit and the Turpin fiasco are the latest in a string of scandals involving the Children’s Services Division which has paid out more than $30million in compensation claims since 2009.

One of the most notorious cases was that of ‘Jacqueline Doe’ who was awarded $10m in November 2018 after suffering repeated rapes by her mother’s boyfriend.

Just 11 when the rapes began, Jacqueline was 13 when she became pregnant by Deon Austin Welch. The baby has since been adopted.

Peverted Welch, 32, was convicted of multiple counts of rape in August 2019 and is now serving a 230-year sentence at the California Correctional Institution in Tehachapi.

According to the complaint in that case, social workers visited her home 20 times between 2003 and 2010 and knew the child was being abused but they not only failed to remove her, they also made Welch one of her designated caregivers.  

Douglas’s predecessor left her job mainly due to this case.

David Turpin

Louise Turpin

David and Louise Turpin – who are now serving life in prison – regularly beat and restrained their children, fed them just once a day, and only allowed them a shower once a year

The Turpin family made headlines in 2018 after 13 siblings were rescued from their parents' 'house of horrors' in Perris, where they were forced to live under horrific, abusive conditions

The Turpin family made headlines in 2018 after 13 siblings were rescued from their parents’ ‘house of horrors’ in Perris, where they were forced to live under horrific, abusive conditions 

Prosecutors are seeking the death penalty in the case of Bryce McIntosh, who has been charged with the 2019 murder of his eight-year-old son Noah

Noah McIntosh

Prosecutors are seeking the death penalty in the case of Bryce McIntosh, who has been charged with the 2019 murder of his eight-year-old son Noah

The Children’s Services Division has also faced intense criticism over its handling of a case which ended in the murder of eight-year-old Noah McIntosh – despite social workers investigating the family 10 times in the 18 months before he died.

Noah, who lived in Corona, California, was deemed to be ‘in no immediate danger of serious harm’ by social workers less than a year before he vanished on March 2 2019. 

Dad Bryce McIntosh, 35, was arrested 10 days later and charged with his murder in December 2020 along with a count of torture and another of willful child cruelty. 

Noah’s body has never been found but prosecutors say McIntosh purchased long-cuffed gloves, bolt cutters, four gallons of muriatic acid, a 32-gallon trash can and several bottles of drain opener shortly in the days after his son vanished.

Cops who searched an area where McIntosh’s cellphone pinged also discovered a blood splattered plastic bag and a piece of paper with the words ‘Noah M’ written on it.

McIntosh is due to appear in court late next month for a pre-trial conference. Prosecutors said they will seek the death penalty if he is convicted.

Noah’s mother Jillian Godrey, 39, was arrested the same day as her husband and has already pleaded guilty to two counts of child endangerment. She will be sentenced in October.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10673787/Child-welfare-boss-sent-Turpin-children-live-alleged-pedophile-pictured.html

Surviving the Fire

High Park fire, Larimer County, CO (2012), Author US Air Force, Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/usairforce/7462740970/, (PD as work of federal govt.)

Read the blogs of child abuse victims and those concerned for them.  Somewhere along the line, you will find mention of what the abuse damaged or destroyed outright.

Our innocence.  Our childhood.  Our peace of mind.  Our self-confidence.  Our self-esteem.  Our ability to trust.  Our capacity to select loving partners, and sustain healthy relationships.  Our faith.  Our voice.

And from far too many, the abuse took their very lives.

For many of us, what the abuse left behind was isolation, grief, anxiety, depression, rage, and a permanent sense of violation.

Unfortunately, that we will never be the women (or men) we might have been is not helpful information.  We are who we are…marked by these scars.

In some sense, the scars are our badges – if not of honor exactly, then certainly not of shame.  We were the ones sinned against, not the ones sinning, no matter how we were made to feel about the torture inflicted upon us.

As with the veteran who has lost a limb to war or the woman who has lost a breast to cancer, this is simply our reality now.

No single statement can characterize us all, except that we were blameless.

Some of us were victimized by priests; others, by family members or strangers.  Some of us pressed criminal charges against our abusers; some chose to remain (or were forced to remain) silent, sometimes for decades.

Some of us lived in denial, maintaining a painful status quo in our attempt to protect loved ones.  Some of us fled to the streets, from one kind of horror to another.  Some changed sexes or became sex addicts.  A few fled from sex, itself.

Some of us forgave; some never will.

The abuse did not make us bad citizens, bad neighbors, bad employees, or bad friends. Many of us became high achievers, first at school and later at work.

A surprising number of us have found a strength we did not realize we had.  We have found a way to use our anger to fuel the struggle against abuse and injustice; use our pain as a subject for art and literature.

A surprising number of us have reclaimed our joy.  We remember the past, but choose to focus on the present.

Somehow we managed to survive the onslaught against our hearts, minds, souls, and bodies.  Whether by luck or fate, intestinal fortitude or grace, we survived the fire.  We are here and entitled to live our lives.

Originally posted 10/19/14

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

https://avoicereclaimed.com/2018/05/27/surviving-the-fire-2/

VIDEO This is child abuse, this is madness, this must stop

Michael Brown defends father jailed for calling his daughter his ‘daughter’

There are so many pressing issues in America today, from bills under discussion in Congress to the fears of Asian Americans in light of increasing hatred and violence. There are international issues demanding our attention, including the upcoming Israeli elections and the current conflict between Biden and Putin. And personally, I would rather comment on any of these subjects than the subject of this article. Yet those other issues will have to wait one more day. This week’s outrages are just too outrageous. We must speak out again.

This week, a Canadian father, Robert Hoogland, was jailed for the crime of referring to his 14-year-old daughter as his daughter. That’s right. Because this concerned father referred to his daughter as female, thereby violating a court order, he has been arrested and put behind bars.

You say, “Obviously, there’s something missing from this story. Did he abduct her? Is she not really his daughter? What else happened?”

In reality, the story is worse than you can imagine.

A few years ago, Robert (whom I met and with whom I discussed the situation) learned that his daughter’s school had been pushing her in the direction of male identity, claiming she suffered from gender dysphoria.

TRENDING: How the FBI is identifying, tracking and rounding up dissidents

They even changed her name in the school yearbook without informing the parents, encouraging her to get on hormones and to work toward sex-change surgery.

The girl’s mother sided with the daughter, but Robert opposed the decision. After all, she was a young teen and hardly capable of making such life-altering decisions.

The court sided with the daughter, forbidding her father from trying to impede her gender transition.

But that was only the beginning of the story. The court then forbade him from referring to his own daughter as “she.” Or using her real (female) name. Or speaking of her as his “daughter.” If he dared to do so even in the privacy of their home – I am not making this up – he would be put in jail.

This is madness. This is something out of “1984.” And it is something many of us have stated plainly was coming to a city near you.

To Robert’s credit, and out of genuine love for his daughter, he continued to speak out publicly. And now, he has been put in jail.

Several years ago, when Canada passed Bill C16, the so-called “anti-discrimination,” gender identity bill, professor Jordan Peterson raised his voice in protest (this was before he shot to international fame), warning that the enforced speech of the bill would lead to situations just like this. His concerns were dismissed as extreme.

In response to Robert Hoogland’s arrest, Peterson tweeted, “This could never happen, said those who called my stance against Bill C16 alarmist. I read the law and saw that it was, to the contrary, inevitable.”

I urge every parent to read Robert’s words, which follow here, and to feel his pain for his daughter.

Speaking of the court ruling, he said, “They’ve created a delusion, and they’re forcing parents to live in this delusion.”

And he asked, “What happens when the bubble explodes and the delusion ends. … She can never go back to being a girl in the healthy body she should have had. … These kids don’t understand. What kind of 13-year-old is thinking about having a family and kids?”

And then this: “What kind of father would I be if, in 10 years time she’s detransitioning, and she asks me ‘why didn’t you do anything to stop this? None of you stuck your neck out for me back then.'”

He will be able to say that he tried his very hardest, to the point of sacrificing his freedom. (Robert shared his heart on this video before turning himself in for arrest.)

You say, “But that was Canada. That could never happen here in America.”

Well, isn’t it bad enough that this happened to a family in Canada? Shouldn’t this concern us as well?

That being said, there is no good reason why things like this could not happen in America, given the direction the country is going.

In fact, in 2018, an Ohio judge “gave custody of a transgender teen to his grandparents rather than his parents, allowing them to make medical decisions regarding his transition.

“The parents didn’t want the teen, a 17-year-old who identifies as male, to undergo hormone treatment and refused to call him by his chosen name, triggering suicidal feelings, according to court testimony. The parents wanted custody in order to make medical decisions for the teen and prohibit the treatment that his medical team had recommended.”

As for freedom of speech, on Thursday, a street preacher in Florida who was speaking outside of a Drag Queen Story Hour, where these men read to toddlers, was threatened with arrest by a local officer. And what was his alleged crime? His speech might offend others. He was even told that saying that certain people were going to hell could be deemed offensive, since “hell” could be considered a swear word. (Watch the clip for yourself.)

As for these infamous, truly detestable drag queen events, it is now reported that, “The former leader of a prominent gay charity that sponsors Drag Queen Story Time for kids has been arrested on child pornography charges, local media reports.

“Brett Blomme, a Children’s Court Judge in Milwaukee, was arrested and charged with seven counts of possessing child pornography Tuesday, the state Department of Justice announced.

“Blomme, 38, is accused of uploading 27 terrible images and videos of children being sexually abused on the messaging app Kik, using the name ‘dommasterbb’ between October and November 2020, according to the 44-page search warrant.”

No surprise that he was a champion of drag queens reading to toddlers.

This is why we must speak out against this madness and work together to stop the child abuse. And that’s why people like Scott Newgent, a biological female who now lives as a male and is anything but a fundamentalist Christian, have called for a broad coalition of people of conscience to work against children “transitioning.” (Having interacted directly with Newgent, I can testify that she is absolutely passionate about raising her voice on behalf of the children.)

Do we sit idly by while children’s lives are being destroyed? Do we remain silent while a father sits in jail for fighting for the well-being of his daughter?

Certainly not. The least we can do is raise awareness and raise our voices.

I will always grieve over the pain that has been experienced by those who identify as transgender. But I will not collaborate with child abuse.

This is madness. This must stop.

VIDEO:Interview with Rob Hoogland – facing prison for opposing daughter’s sex-change

VIDEO “Shadow Puppets” by Melissa

October 25, 2020

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Below is a violent, firsthand account of child abuse — most particularly physical abuse.

Distressing accounts can be found for every category of abuse, whether physical, emotional, sexual, or neglect.  Thousands of children are murdered worldwide before they can ever tell their harrowing stories.  

The victims of child abuse prefer not to read such accounts.  We have scars enough to attest to the reality of abuse. 

But those who still think child abuse is an insignificant issue — a subject exaggerated by the press — should make a point of reading this account.  Two things will stand out:  the enormous courage of these children; and the enormous compassion of the author (“Melissa”), now an adult.

While “Melissa” did her very best to protect herself and her brothers against their father’s neglect and their mother’s rage, I cannot agree with her conclusion that abuse is simply a matter of mental illness.

Mental illness is real.  Evil is, also, however, real.  The distinction rests in the capacity to tell right from wrong.  Mental illness involves a compromised understanding of the world and/or a compromised ability to control one’s actions. 

Evil involves a deliberate choice.

“The way that the shadows played under the door, I could see that my favorite tree was gracefully dancing in the wind. The sunlight shot like a laser beam into the closet.  ‘Hey, lets play shadow puppets.’ I whispered to my little brother.  ‘Okay,’ he said.

This time, his lips only turned a small shade of blue.  My brother faced his head towards me and I made myself look into his eyes, holding my own grief so I could contain his.  I remember looking at my mother and wondering if this time was it, would she kill him? She would always stop -before she would suffocate him.

Mom had bad days.  Her children were the face of every single person that day that had hurt her, that had let her down, a family member, an argument with my Dad.  My brother and I never knew when our turn was going to be for mom to release her anger.  I always wondered when it would begin.  Would we be able to have the comfort of the closet, would we be able to see the closet this time around?  That was always my hope.  Mom would always begin with me.  I would lay down on the sofa and she would put a pillow over my face.  She would then sit on top of me and she proceeded to suffocate me. I always turned my head to the wall facing away because I knew that my little brother was there in the hallway.  I never wanted him to see my face. I never wanted him to see the fear and sometimes even the hope – that maybe I would die…”

[Continued at:  https://livinginjmj.com/2020/03/26/the/ ]

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: http://www.alawyersprayers.com


Unbiblical, Part 6 – Forgiveness v. Victims’ Rights

“ ‘And forgive us our sins, For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us’ ” (Luke 11: 4).

As I have said elsewhere on this website, forgiveness is a personal matter between abuse victims and their God.  Urging forgiveness on victims prematurely ignores the gravity of their trauma, and the depravity of the sins committed against them.

This amounts to a further violation.  Victims will necessarily feel that Christians are siding with the predator…even condoning the abuse.  Shockingly, in some cases Christians have been guilty of this.

Witness the Catholic Church sex scandal.  This was, at best, a product of poor judgment, and a distorted view of Scripture.  At worst, it was a cold and calculated attempt to avoid corporate responsibility, while facilitating the most heinous of crimes

.

Detail from “Christ before the High Priest” by Gerar van Honthorst (1617), National Gallery (Accession No. NG3679), London, Source Web Gallery of Art (PD-Art, PD-Old-100)

Either way, church hierarchy applied precisely the same rationale to young abuse victims, as the high priest, Caiaphas, did to Christ:  “ ‘…[I]t is expedient for us that one man should die for the people, and not that the whole nation should perish’ ” (John 11: 50).

To be clear, forgiveness is not a “warm and cozy” feeling, on the part of victims.  It is a deliberate decision by victims to leave the harm inflicted on them behind, and instead move on with their lives.

Significantly, genuine forgiveness can provide victims a release from their past which nothing else can.  The link to the predator is severed.  The hold the predator has had over victims is broken.  More than that, through God’s grace, victims are set free to heal.

Forgiveness is not inconsistent with victims’ rights.  A victim may decide no longer to expend emotional energy focusing on his/her loss.  This does not preclude criminal prosecution of the predator for the crimes s/he committed.

Criminal liability and lifelong monitoring, when imposed, are consequences of the predator’s own actions.  This is entirely in accord with Scripture.  Society must take necessary steps to protect its most vulnerable members.

Conclusion

A few final words:

Christians genuinely interested in being supportive to abuse victims should better educate themselves, both on Scripture and abuse, and should pray fervently for compassion, which – sad to say – many lack.

God is waiting with open arms for abuse victims.  They are more precious to Him than diamonds or gold.  In fact, His Son Jesus died for them.  It is this truth which Christians should strive to convey.

Originally posted 4/12/15

Wishing You All A Merry Christmas!

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com


Unbiblical, Part 5 – Self-Sacrifice v. Codependence

Sketch for mural “The Spirit of Self-Sacrificing Love” by Kenyon Cox at Oberlin College, Smithsonian Museum (1983.114.15), Source https://americanart.si.edu (PD-Art, PD-Old-95)

“The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty.  We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”

– Mother Teresa

Self-sacrifice is natural to Christians, and encouraged.  Christians are to put the legitimate needs of others ahead of their own, in imitation of Christ.  Mother Teresa was a shining example of this.  For abuse victims, however, self-sacrifice can become confused with codependence.

Codependence as an After-Effect of Abuse

Individuals suffering from codependence will allow the emotions and behavior of others to dictate their view of themselves.  Those with codependence will tolerate – even, unconsciously, seek out – relationships that are “one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive verbally or physically” [1].

Codependent characteristics include low self-esteem; fear of anger; denial of any problems with the relationship; and an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the feelings, choices, and actions of the loved one [2].

While on its face, codependence may resemble Christian self-sacrifice, there are distinct differences between the two.

The codependent individual may forego his/her goals and desires to meet the perceived “needs” of a loved one.  But the underlying motive for this is not the welfare of the loved one.  It is fear.

Actually, the codependent individual is attempting to shore up his/her fragile sense of worth, strike an unspoken bargain for love and affection, and maintain the relationship at all costs (however abusive or unsatisfying it may be).  An overly solicitous mother might be a crude illustration.

By comparison, Christian self-sacrifice is not the attempt to manipulate (or placate) an individual perceived as more “important” or powerful.  It is, or should be, truly selfless.

Clinging to an Imitation

None of this is meant to imply that abuse victims cannot love and love intensely.  The problem lies in the fact victims have not seen healthy love modeled.  What feels familiar is a flawed version of love, an imitation.  The real love and support victims need seem out of reach, so we cling to the imitation with all our might, confusing pain for passion.

Reality Check

Codependence does not have to be a permanent state.  What can loosen its grip is reality, in liberal doses.

  • What would a third party identify as problems in the relationship?  Putting aside the excuses victims have always made for him/her, what attitudes and behavior on the loved one’s part cause victims pain?
  • Why is it victims feel unworthy of a satisfying relationship?
  • What would the consequences be, if victims expressed their dissatisfaction or anger? What was the response to their anger in childhood?

Notice that the list of our supposed failures and inadequacies is not included here. That, for the most part, is a work of fiction.  But abuse victims are not likely to recognize the fact until the foundation for the fiction has been undermined.

The reality is victims are no longer children.  We are entitled to have needs, and express them. We are entitled to have negative emotions, and express them.  We will not be annihilated, if the abusive relationship ends.

The reality is victims are not responsible.  Not for the feelings, choices, or actions of the loved one – much as victims might like to believe that.  An exaggerated sense of responsibility provides only the illusion of control.  That illusion may be necessary to the child; it is crippling to the adult.

The reality is victims can survive.  The proof is – astoundingly enough – that we have.  Despite the dire predictions of those who should have loved us.  Despite childhood insults, curses, and neglect; despite adult scars.  Despite even the flawed relationships into which we have fallen, thinking we deserve no better.

Only when abuse victims understand the concept of self-love will we be able to put the needs of another before our own, freely.  Till then, victims will continue playing out the tragedy of abuse.

[1] [2] The Diversified Intervention Group, Education, “The Latest Definition of Codependency”, http://interventiontreatmentrecovery.org/education/codependency/?gclid=CPSfiK3-_8MCFdgYgQodshIARw.

Originally posted 4/5/15

This series will conclude next week with Forgiveness v. Victims’ Rights

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com


Unbiblical, Part 4 – Trusting God, Self, and Others

Detail from “A Girl Comes to Christ” by Fritz von Uhde (1884), Museum der bildenden Künste (Accession No. 550), Germany (PD-Art, PD-Old-100)

Trusting God v. Trusting Self

Christians talk casually about God’s plan for their lives and the lives of others.  This can be grating to the ears of abuse victims (especially those new to, or unfamiliar with, the faith).

As victims are inclined to see it, God’s plan for them included abuse.  Whether He caused that abuse or merely allowed it to occur, He failed to protect them against it. And they have the scars to prove that.

The issue of innocent suffering is a profound one, and cannot be papered over with a handy Bible verse.  For abuse victims, coming to terms with it may be a lifelong struggle.

Trusting themselves can be as great a challenge.  Abuse has effectively “taught” victims not to rely on their own judgment, their own instincts.  This is something they must unlearn.

It is not helpful for Christians to urge victims to trust in God, rather than themselves.  Such trust will come with time.  It cannot be rushed.  There are deep wounds which must be healed first.

Trusting Others

Christians should be sensitive in the language they use around abuse victims.  To victims of incest, even the term “Father God” can sound disturbing.  To those who were sexually abused or tortured by siblings, the term “brothers and sisters in Christ” may be equally threatening.

Christians should not pressure victims to drop their defenses, and should not hug or make other physical contact with victims without their permission.  Victims may experience either as invasive, and shy away.

Christians should allow abuse victims to take the lead, insofar as relationships. Friendships should not be forced.  These will develop as victims gradually come to see they will not be harmed.

Originally posted 3/29/15

This series will continue next week with Self-Sacrifice v. Codependence

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

Unbiblical, Part 3 – Humility v. Lack of Worth

Many, if not most, victims will conclude from the abuse inflicted on them that they have little or no value. They are likely to view God as angry and withholding, unconcerned for their welfare. This applies whether the abuse is emotional, physical, sexual or in the form of neglect.

When in all humility Christians describe themselves as undeserving of Salvation or compare their righteousness to “filthy rags” (Is. 64: 6), abuse victims can readily identify. However, abuse victims are inclined to view themselves as irredeemable.

Having been treated like filthy rags, having been taught that love must be “earned” – and never is – victims may, even as adults, wrestle with shame and believe that they are worthless. This can drive them toward legalism (Christianity as perfectionism), in a frantic attempt to obtain the love they have been denied.

But God values every life. His love is freely given.

Christ said:

“ ‘Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth’ ” (Matt. 5: 5).

He said:

“… ‘Whoever receives this little child in my name receives Me; and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me. For he who is least among you all will be great’” (Luke 9: 48).

Christians must, first and foremost, demonstrate God’s love to abuse victims.  If they fail in this, the shame is theirs.

This series will continue next week with Trusting God, Self, and Others

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: http://www.alawyersprayers.com


Unbiblical, Part 2 – Sin Nature v. Abuse-Related Guilt

Woman with a broken heart, Author Nevit Dilmen, Source Sunset 02459.jpg and Broken Heart symbol.svg (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

Christians speak regularly about the “sin nature” of mankind, the inclination by human beings to do wrong, as illustrated by wars and crime.

The following verses on the topic are typical:

“…[T]he imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth…” (Gen. 8:21).

“ ‘The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked…’” (Jer. 17:9).

“ ‘Then I will…take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh that they may walk in My statutes…’ ” (Ezek. 11: 19-20).

“ ‘For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies’ ” (Matt. 15: 19).

If anyone has experienced that sin nature, abuse victims have.  Victims, however, have been more sinned against than sinning.

Unfortunately, the continuous emphasis on sin is likely to sound like condemnation to victims, when what they need is love, encouragement, and hope.

Christians should remember that abuse leaves behind deep scars.  Victims of abuse may struggle with gender identification, sexual addiction or dysfunction, self-neglect, anxiety, depression, dissociation and related amnesia, drug or alcohol addiction, cutting, anorexia, bulimia, binging, and other issues.  The majority of prostitutes are thought to be runaways, with a history of abuse.

Dealing with major problems like these is not for the faint of heart.  Nor is it for the self-righteous.  Merely living ordinary lives can take enormous effort and enormous courage by abuse victims.  That victims, for the most part, accomplish this is amazing.

Victims should not be made a topic of gossip.  Nor should they be subjected to snap judgments, whether about their morality or mental state.

Above all, victims should be reassured that they were not the guilty party in abuse; that, as children, they were wholly incapable of consent to whatever was done to them; and that God still loves them, despite all they have been through.

Originally posted 3/15/15

This series will continue next week with Humility v. Lack of Worth

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

VIDEO Unbiblical, Part 1 – Submission v. Self-Defense – Why Victims Don’t Leave

In a misguided effort to provide comfort and direction to abuse victims, well-meaning Christians will often quote Bible verses out of context or cite biblical principles which do not apply to abuse, thereby actually exacerbating the pain victims feel.

As a result, victims may turn away from the real comfort they would find in Christ.

This series of articles is intended to clarify – both for Christians, and abuse victims interacting with them – certain Scriptural passages and principles that could otherwise be misunderstood or misinterpreted.

Submission v. Self-Defense

Perhaps the most damaging is the principle of “headship”.  The basis for this can be found in Chapter 5 of St. Paul’s Epistle to the Ephesians, among a set of instructions on holy living for both men and women.  The entire chapter speaks of Christians loving and being “submissive” to one another.

The frequently overlooked instruction to husbands (highlighted below) is an integral part of the principle:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for her [Emphasis added]…” (Eph. 5: 22-25).

God alone knows how many battered women have lost their lives on bad and unbiblical advice from a priest or minister that they return to a dangerous household, and submit to the will of their abusive, alcoholic, or drug addicted husbands.

Nowhere does the Bible instruct women to submit to violence – least of all by their husbands.  Nowhere does it require that they risk their lives or the lives of their children to remain in an abusive marriage.  The Song of Solomon is a full book within the Bible describing in lyrical terms the love and devotion that should exist between a husband and wife.

Christians are to be servants to all, in imitation of Christ.  This does not preclude the right of self-defense.  Author, Matt Perman describes self-defense as “the restraint of life-threatening evil” [1].  That description puts the Pauline principle of “headship” in proper perspective.


[1] Desiring God, Topic: War, “Did Jesus Teach Pacifism?” by Matt Perman, 1/23/06, http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/did-jesus-teach-pacifism.

Originally posted 3/8/15

This series will continue next week with Sin Nature v. Abuse-Related Guilt

Wishing You All A Happy Thanksgiving!

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com


Why Victims Don’t Leave

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com


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