VIDEO The Dramatic Effects Of Fatherless Homes – 20 Statistics on Fatherless Homes

SZABOLCS SZECSEI NOVEMBER 13, 2020

Fatherlessness is a growing problem in the US, and research shows that a father-absent childhood can significantly affect the children’s perception of life, as well as their life choices later on. 

Last year was not easy for any of us, and the weight and anxiety it brought placed significant stress on families everywhere. Unfortunately, some of it inevitably leads to the breaking of families, which will have its first consequences in 2021.

Statistics on fatherless homes show that households with absent fathers also have a higher chance of being under the poverty line. In short, the absence of a father in a family can lead to serious consequences and even fatal outcomes, and these are just a few examples to show how grim the issue can be. 

Top 10 Facts and Statistics on Fatherless Homes You Need to Know About: 

  • In 2014, 17.4 million children lived in fatherless homes.
  • Statistics on absent fathers show that, in 2019, 7 million American dads were absent from the life of all their minor children.
  • Many fatherless families in the US live in poverty.
  • Among the causes of fatherless homes, divorces are leading.
  • Around 5% of absent dads had lived in the same home with their children at some point during the year before the survey.
  • Fatherlessness is linked to the increased risk of infant mortality.
  • Statistics on fatherhood suggest that the lack of interaction between fathers and infants can forecast behavioral issues in children.
  • Secondary data suggest that father absence may increase the likelihood of engaging in criminal activities in young men.
  • Father-involvement has a significant impact on children’s health and academic performance.
  • According to the Department of Justice, statistics on parents in prison show that the number of incarcerated fathers in the US grew significantly in the period from 1991 to 2007.

Absentee Father Statistics to Keep in Mind

If you live in a happy family or at least know both of your parents, you may not even have the idea of how privileged you are. Millions of children worldwide never called anyone ‘dad’ and these are just some of the numbers to paint a clearer picture.

1. In 2014, 17.4 million children lived in fatherless homes.

(Census Bureau)(Fatherhood.org)

This amounted to almost a quarter of all American children — more precisely, 23.6%. In 2017, the number of fatherless homes in America had increased, with 19.7 million children living without a father, which is more than one in four.

2. As of 2019, a quarter of the 121 million men living in the US are biological fathers to at least one kid who’s under the age of 18.

(Census Bureau)

About four out of five of those fathers live with at least some of those underage children (79.8%), while around three-quarters, or 72,6%, live with all of their children. This still leaves many children in fatherless homes, as statistics prove.

3. Statistics on absent fathers show that, in 2019, 7 million American dads were absent from the life of all their minor children.

(Census Bureau)

That means about 20.2% of these men don’t take part in parenting their biological children.

4. On the other end of the spectrum, there are 1.8 million “solo” dads in the US.

(Census Bureau)

Roughly about 6% of the fathers in the US live with their minor child without a partner or a spouse. 

5. Statistics on fatherless homes indicate that many of these families in the US live in poverty.

(U.S. Department of Health & Human Services)

Female-led homes with no spouse present had an alarming poverty rate of 47.6% in 2011 — more than four times the rate for kids living in families where both parents are present.

6. Among the causes of fatherless homesdivorces are leading.

(Fathers.com)

The gathered data shows that the second leading cause is out-of-wedlock births. For example, in 2008, 40.6% of all newborns were born to parents who weren’t married.

Absent vs. “Solo” Dads Statistics to Know

There are some differences here, but you might be surprised at how similar effects they have on children. Here is how these two categories compare and differ: 

7. Statistics on fatherlessness show that absent and “solo” dads may not be as different as they seem.

(Census Bureau)

Some would suggest that fathers who raise their children by themselves are opposites to those who have little to do with parenting altogether. However, according to the census data, both categories are more likely to never have been married and to still be living with their parents. 

More precisely, when talking about “solo” and absent dads in the US, around 30% of both categories have never married compared to only 14% of all fathers of underage kids. Also, 22% of “solo” fathers and 24% of absent fathers live with one or both parents. This is only prevalent in 10% of instances regarding all fathers.

8. Fatherless homes statistics suggest that some fathers became “solo” or absent due to particular circumstances that they couldn’t control.

(Census Bureau)

When looking at these stats, about 7% of absent dads and 5% of “solo” fathers were married at some point, but their spouse doesn’t live at the same place anymore. This is the case with less than 2% of all dads in the US when looking at the overall data.

To find out more about relationship facts, feel free to read this article.

9. Around 5% of absent dads had lived in the same home with their children at some point during the year before the survey.

(Census Bureau)

Fatherlessness statistics also show that 42% of these dads had either visited or had contact with their children once a month. In contrast, 12% of “solo” fathers lived with their children and spouse at some point during the previous year.

These figures suggest that nearly half of these absent dads are or may still be involved in their children’s lives more than it appears and that a certain percentage of these “solo” fathers live a less solitary lifestyle than it might seem at first glance.

10. There are some other similarities between “solo” and absent fathers.

(Census Bureau)

Fatherhood statistics show that the representatives of both of these categories have fewer kids, are less likely to have a higher education, or to have a job. Also, they are more likely to be divorced, with 51% “solo” and 30% of absent dads having gone through a divorce. When looking at all the fathers included in the research, this figure is only 10%.

And for more stats on dating and marriage, you may find these articles handy.

Health Risks and Consequences in Fatherless Children — Statistics and Facts

No matter how much single mothers around the world work on making their children feel loved and safe, not having a father figure seems to influence their kids more than they expect. These consequences show in the children’s health and different aspects of their lives and social behavior.

11. Fatherlessness is linked to the increased risk of infant mortality.

(National Library of Medicine)

A study on 1,397,801 infants born between 1998 and 2005 in Florida focused on how the absence of a father can impact infant mortality in ethnic minorities. At the end of the study,  lower birth weights and earlier births were both linked to the lack of involvement of the dads.

Researchers also concluded that the absence of a father could impact infant mortality, with the first 28 days being crucial. In this period, mortality was four times more likely in African-American infants whose fathers were absent than in Caucasian infants with absent fathers. 

12. Father absence statistics show that adolescent women from fatherless homes have a higher chance of getting pregnant.

(National Library of Medicine)

According to a 2012 study, fatherless homes and teenage pregnancy might be connected. The research included 263 adolescent women (aged 13-18) seeking psychological help. It showed that young women who come from homes where the father is absent are 3.5 times more likely to get pregnant than adolescent women from father-present households.

Also, pregnancy was prevalent in 17.4% of cases in fatherless homes, which is much higher than the estimated 4% in the sample of the adolescent population in the US in 2009.

13. Fatherlessness stats may be linked to higher rates of suicide in high school students.

(Wiley Online Library)

A study on social-ecological variables and suicidal behavior found that among 1,618 Latina high school students, the lower overall parental caring and lower perceived father support can both be predictors of suicidal behavior and thoughts.

14. Statistics on fatherhood suggest that the lack of interaction between fathers and infants can forecast behavioral issues later in life.

(National Library of Medicine)

The longitudinal cohort study found that from as early as age one, kids may express negative behaviors as a result of not having enough interaction with their fathers.

15. Secondary data suggest that father absence may increase the likelihood of young men engaging in criminal activities.

(Sage Journals)

When talking about fatherless children, crime statistics, and research on young men participating in criminal activities has found a link. By studying a sample of 835 juvenile inmates, researchers have found that fatherlessness was these children’s only disadvantage compared to others on an individual level.

Professionals found that juveniles from fatherless homes are 279% more likely to carry guns and participate in drug trafficking than those who live with their fathers.

16. Fatherlessness may be linked to lower educational levels of African American girls.

(Wiley Online Library)

When taking a better look at statistics of fatherless homes by race, researchers have found a connection between the lower levels of education in African American girls and fatherlessness.

Experts concluded that this was true for 532 study subjects, and they’ve also discovered that the father’s absence can lead to a lower income and economic stress in a family. 

17. When it comes to the importance of fathers, statistics can help determine how children see school and education.

(ResearchGate)

Those children who have experienced ambivalence or avoidance with their fathers garnered negative thoughts and attitudes regarding their teachers and school in general. 

In contrast, kids who had a good relationship with their fathers also had a more positive self-concept regarding academics as well as better social and emotional skills. 

18. Father-involvement has a significant impact on children’s health and academic performance.

(National Library of Medicine)

Researchers further examining the fatherless homes statistics have concluded that the involvement of the father is linked to positive outcomes in child behavior, cognitive capabilities, and overall development. It improves weight gain rates in preterm infants, helps improve breastfeeding, and can lead to better language skills and greater academic success later in life.

19. According to the Department of Justice, statistics on parents in prison show that the number of incarcerated fathers in the US grew significantly in the period from 1991 to 2007.

(Bureau of Justice Statistics)

More precisely, data show that the number of incarcerated fathers in the US had grown by a whopping 79%. Among their children, nearly half were African American (46%).

20. Children from single-parent homes participate in more government nutrition, education, etc. programs.

(The One Hundred Billion Dollar Man)

Statistics of fatherless children also show that around 55.2% of children who are a part of the WIC program are single-mother-raised. This participation is 48.2% for the Head Start services. Statistics also show that female-headed households account for nearly 37% of public assistance housing programs and Section 8 housing programs.

FAQ

What percentage of criminals are from single-parent homes?

Even though pinpointing the exact percentage of criminals coming from single-parent homes is difficult, most professionals agree that the majority of inmates come from fatherless homes. Some studies suggest that nearly 70% of inmates did not grow up with both parents living in the same home in the US. 

However, getting the exact data is rather difficult since the Bureau of Justice doesn’t track the inmates’ family backgrounds. Moreover, a 1994 study found that only 13% of juveniles in Wisconsin grew up with married parents.

(Family Inequality)(Survey of Youth in Custody)(The Morning Call)(Family Status of Delinquents in Juvenile Correctional Facilities in Wisconsin)

What are the effects of not having a father in your life?

According to professional research, growing up without one parent (in this case, the father) can permanently alter the brain’s structure. 

Canadian scientists believe that the absence of fathers usually affects girls more than boys, and can make these children more aggressive. They are also more likely to be depressed, have low self-esteem, be poor learners, turn to drugs, and, in some cases, even commit suicide.

(The Daily Mail)(Owlcation)

Does growing up without a father affect you?

By looking at the previous question and answer, it is clear that scientists see a connection between certain behavioral patterns and growing up without a father. They’ve concluded that it has such a significant impact on children, it may even alter their brain structure and chemistry.

(The Daily Mail)

Conclusion

By looking at these figures, it can be concluded that growing up without one parent can have a wide variety of negative effects on children, increasing the likelihood of them turning to crime and having a lower quality of life in general.

Furthermore, these statistics on fatherless homes raise a couple of other, equally alarming questions regarding other important topics like income inequality, poverty, the efficiency of the education system (more precisely, sexual education), and crime. As such, fatherlessness and single-parenting should be a major concern for all of us to deal with in 2021.

Sources: 


The Dramatic Effects Of Fatherless Homes | Pastor Shane Idleman

The new book by Pastor Shane, If My People, is a cry for us to turn back to God, to seek His face, and to receive the blessings He promises to those who will humble themselves.

There are also free download links available here on some of the platforms:
https://shaneidleman.com/books/


How and When to Stop Being a Doormat

By Sheila Wray Gregoire -April 12, 2021

stop being a doormat

Sometimes we get in a rut in marriage where we actually hurt our spouses because we enable sin. Sometimes we need to learn how to stop being a doormat. Let me begin with a story.

I know of a woman whose husband had been involved with porn heavily for years. They had gone to counselors and he had said he would stop but he hadn’t. They had talked about it for years but nothing changed.

Finally, she decided to stop being a doormat and told a few select people in her small group and the elders at her church, and the elders confronted her husband about this and told him that they were supporting the separation. The small group helped the wife to pack her things and helped her to get into another place to live. They are not divorced; they are separated. But she has tried everything else and it hasn’t worked, and now her church is backing her as she puts her husband in a situation where he has to choose: will I do the right thing and follow God? Or will I turn away?

This, I believe, is the biblical model. I have had other women on this site comment, saying something like:

MY HUSBAND USES PORN BUT HE SAYS THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE AT CHURCH, BUT I DON’T KNOW WHO TO GO TO, AND MY HUSBAND SAYS THAT HE IS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE AND I MUST SUBMIT. I’M LOST.

That is not headship! That is a cop out.

Read Next on Thriving Marriages  Are You Always Irritated at Your Spouse?

Headship should never be used as an excuse to continue in sin, or to give you a cover so that you can lead a “second life.”

There are times, I believe, when a spouse is so endangering his or her relationship with the family and with God that something must be done. And if nothing is done, then that spouse is giving cover to the sin. In my book 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage I talked about this at length. God wants marriages where both spouses chase after Him, not marriages where one spouse uses the relationship as a cover for sin. And sometimes we need some intervention, it’s part of what it means to stop being a doormat.

3 Areas Where You Should Stop Being a Doormat 

I am not going to talk about affairs or abuse or substance issues because we all already talk about those widely in our culture and in our churches, and I hope there’s agreement that in these cases steps must be taken. But too many people think, “because my problem doesn’t fit into those categories I have to live with it and there’s nothing I can do.” Here they are:

1. Porn Use

A man (or woman) who uses porn is not only participating in a sin; he is wandering down a road that will destroy intimacy both with his wife and with God, and will ruin him as a father. It cannot be tolerated. It’s one place to stop being a doormat.

2. Withdrawal from Sex Altogether

In too many marriages sex has become almost non-existent. Usually when it’s the man who withholds sex sex porn is involved. Sometimes, though, it’s simply major pscyhological and emotional damage. Maybe there are homosexual tendencies, or maybe the man has so pushed down his sexuality because it’s threatening to him in some way that he becomes passive and asexual. Maybe she has so much psychological woundedness or anger that she withdraws.

Churches have sympathy for the wife who comes in and says “my husband uses porn”. They often don’t know what to do with a spouse who comes in and says, “my husband (or my wife) never has sex.”  It doesn’t seem like as valid a complaint. In fact, if it’s the man who is going in to ask for help, often the problem will be turned against him: “what did you do to chase your wife away?” Yet in my experience when a spouse completely withdraws from sex it is often not primarily that other spouse’s fault. It is often something psychological or spiritual going on inside the spouse who has withdrawn.

Read Next on Thriving Marriages  How to Build Trust in a Marriage

We were created for intimacy with another person. We are not meant to be lone rangers. If a spouse rejects sex, they are specifically rejecting community. And they are rejecting a huge part of themselves. Do you realize how huge this is? How big a deal this is spiritually and emotionally as well? This can’t be ignored, and a person who has become asexual must be confronted and told, “you need to get counseling”.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having psychological trauma; there is something wrong with refusing to deal with it. You can stop being a doormat by insisting on counseling.

3. Financially Endangering the Family

I received an email from a wife recently who said this:

FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS MY HUSBAND HAS REFUSED TO WORK. WHEN HE DID WORK HE OFTEN CALLED IN SICK, AND WAS ALWAYS SEARCHING OUT WAYS TO APPLY FOR DISABILITY. NOW HE JUST SITS AT HOME AND WATCHES TV AND PLAYS VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY. HE’S JUST A BIG SLOB. WE LOST OUR HOUSE AND I’M WORKING TWO PART-TIME JOBS TO TRY TO PAY THE BILLS, PLUS KEEPING THE HOUSE CLEAN AND DOING HIS LAUNDRY. HE WON’T WORK! WHAT DO I DO?

A man who refuses to provide for his family, and who has become this lazy, also needs Christians to come alongside him and say, “put up or shut up”. This isn’t acceptable. I would say that the same would be true for a spouse who is consistently getting the family deep into debt with spending.

If your spouse is acting in such a way that they are denying a vital part of themselves and a vital part of the Christian life–like responsibility or intimacy or community–then doing nothing about it enables that spouse to avoid any impetus for spiritual growth.

And yet all too often that is what we’ve done–we hate divorce so much that we ignore the other side: God does not want an army of wounded, damaged people. He wants wholeness. And so we must deal with people who are refusing to confront huge issues.

Note that I’m not talking about a difference in sex drives, or problems when one spouse won’t do any housework. I’m not talking about disagreements over child rearing or over the role of TV in the house. I’m talking about things that go to the very heart of who we are as people and what is our relationship before God. And these are issues which, if not dealt with, will continue to drive someone further away from God and further into darkness.

In the old days, brothers would come to support their sister and would give the husband a pounding. That doesn’t happen anymore. But now churches need to fulfill that role.

In my book I use an example of a church intervention. A woman was married to a man who was consistently driving his family into deeper and deeper debt. She was working hard to try to keep the family afloat but she couldn’t manage it anymore because of his spending.

The elders came to the guy and sat him down and said, “we are going to help you make a budget. Then you are going to stick to it. You’ll report to one of us every week until this is all sorted out. And if you continue to overspend, we all will show up at the house with a moving van and we will help your wife get established with the kids in a house of her own until you come to your senses.”

Read Next on Thriving Marriages  Ultimatums Are Bad, Right? Actually, They’re VITAL For a Thriving Marriage. Here’s Why.

They weren’t talking about a divorce; they were saying, “what you are doing is so unacceptable that you must stop. And if you won’t, you alone will bear the consequences because we will help your wife through this.”

Churches Can Help Us Stop Being a Doormat

Now, elders should never do anything this drastic until they hear both sides of the story; but once that story is clear, if one spouse is consistently damaging the family and damaging his or her own spiritual life, then action simply must be taken. And just because they’re married is no reason to avoid taking that action.

I know most of my readers are women, and so let me talk to the women for a moment. Many of you leave heartbreaking messages on this blog about men who have turned their backs on the marriage, but won’t move out. They like someone taking care of the housework and taking care of the kids, and they like the benefits that marriage brings, even though they have rejected the intimacy and responsibility. Ladies, if you put up with this, you are enabling him to move farther and farther away from God. God did not create marriage so that we would have an excuse to not work on our issues.

If your husband is addicted to porn, deal with the internet and get him accountability. If he has substance abuse issues, get him into rehab, luxurybeachrehab.com, is an addiction treatment center website with a lot of useful information on a variety of treatment programs. If he’s cheating on you, tell someone. If he’s not working, do something.

Go to your church and find someone who will help you; who will sit down and talk to your husband, whether he likes it or not, to hear his side of the story. Someone who will walk you through an intervention process, if it is necessary (and in some cases it definitely is). And someone who will stand alongside your husband and give him the tools and help he needs to rediscover who he was made to be.

I know this is scary. Those times are rare, and please, don’t take these words as an excuse to leave your husband because he plays video games too much or won’t put stuff in the dishwasher. I’m not talking about normal marital disagreements. I’m talking about things where men (or women) have completely forsaken key elements of who they were designed to be. And in that case, your children need to witness health and wholeness and healing. So don’t stop until you find someone to help you!

VIDEO The Road To Love

All of us on this road of life are searching for and needing love. Unfortunately what we find is, love is not easy. A more familiar expression we experience is rejection and it comes from the ones we love the most.

There are so many forms of rejection we experience. I am learning that looking for love in and through people is a road of hurt, disappointment, insecurity, self doubt, low self esteem, depression, and a loss of true identity.

I believe love was and has always been meant to be found in and through our Savior Jesus Christ.


Philippians 2:2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

You see Gods love is perfect! When we seek Gods love and learn His patients, grace and commitment to us, we will be forever changed in the way we view love, especially the way we view it in this broken world full of broken people who only know how to give broken love!!!

As we begin to understand God and His love for us and how His love deals with our broken love. We will begin to know how to love others with a Godly love and learn how to receive broken love as He does.

Simon Peter, Do You Love Me?
John 21
So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.” (21:15–17)

Anyway, using the Greek words (in their anglicized forms), here is a summary of the passage.

VERSE 15:

Jesus asked Peter if he agape’d Him

Peter responded that he phileo’d Him

VERSE 16:

Jesus asked Peter if he agape’d Him

Peter responded that he phileo’d Him

VERSE 17:

Jesus asked Peter if he phileo’d Him

Peter responded that he phileo’d Him

The argument made by the scholars is that Jesus asked Peter if he had the highest form of love for Him. However, Peter could only say that he had the lower form of love for His Saviour. Finally, the third time He asked the question using the word for the lower form of love. This showed that Jesus was satisfied if Peter could only love Him with phileo love.

The reason we reject and are rejected is that we only know the lower kind of love phileo.

Our call from God is to first recieve His love, (agape love) which is a higher form of love that is perfected in Christ! Then in return practice giving this kind of love to God and others that our desire to be loved and to love others will be fulfilling!

God bless you today, I hope this was a word of encouragement and healing!

THE ROAD TO LOVE

Sorry America, but your rage is misplaced

June 7, 2020 Ron Whited 

Coming out of the recent pandemic that saw a near complete shutdown of our society along with critical shortages of many essential items, I am struck by the things we now seem to have an abundance of.

Anger comes to mind as something we have in abundance. And hatred, let’s not forget the overflow of hatred in America. Oh, and I don’t want to forget one other thing we have in great abundance today; finger pointing. Can’t forget that now, can I?

Almost beyond belief, it would seem that the cataclysmic virus that had doomed us all to certain death really wasn’t the apocalyptic event prophesied by the media after all. How could it be, when hundreds of thousands are marching side by side not wearing a mask? Imagine that would you?

Things were so bad that we were strictly forbidden to go to church for fear of spreading this death defying virus, yet somehow or another congregating in crowds of tens of thousands doesn’t pose any health risks at all.

I mean, who knew?

Honestly, I’m thinking the wrong crowds are filling the streets of America. I’m thinking we awful, disease spreading, unenlightened Christians ought to be the ones pouring out into the streets of America to protest the theft of our Constitutionally guaranteed freedom of worship. [1]

Speaking of pouring out into the streets, I have lived on this earth for just over 65 years, and in that time I have seen many instances where people took to the streets out of frustration and anger over issues beyond their control.

I was just a boy of eight years of age when Martin Luther King gave his famous “I Have a Dream” speech in 1963.

I was thirteen when the infamous “Chicago Seven” were arrested for their anti war activities during the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago.

Just two years later when I was a 15 year old, the Ohio National Guard opened fire on a crowd of Vietnam War protestors, killing four and wounding nine. Living just a couple of hours from Kent State University, it seemed like it was in my backyard.

Since those tumultuous times of decades past, there have been several other noteworthy examples of citizens taking to the streets to protest for one reason or another. Abortion, LBGTQ, Environment, Guns, Women’s rights, Anti-war, and the Million man and Million woman marches have all made their mark on the fabric of American society.

Today, as our nation once again seethes with anger in the wake of the brutal, heinous murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis, millions are again taking to the streets in a show of indignation and defiance of the status quo.

Of course, the violence that has erupted during the peaceful marches is the result of a well planned and well funded attempt to destroy the fabric of American society from within. There is only one word that most aptly describes what is being played out before our eyes: EVIL.

We can dress it up any way we like to, but it’s still EVIL. We can call it racism or bigotry or any number of other names, but it’s still EVIL. And this is what those marching and protesting in the streets do not understand. This is NOT an issue of race. It is an issue of EVIL. Even those violent criminals that have been unleashed upon our society are completely misguided. The issue here is not one group hating another. It goes much, much deeper than that.

What we’re dealing with here is of the spiritual nature. Don’t believe that? Read what the Apostle Paul had to say about the subject of EVIL.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (emphasis mine)

Did you understand what Paul meant? Our battle, your battle, is not with mankind. It is NOT with your neighbor who is of a different skin color than yours. It is NOT with those whose belief system differs from your own. No, the battle is against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

In other words, the battle is against the spiritual forces of darkness that exist in high places. Who is leading the charge of these forces of darkness at play in our society? Why, it’s none other than Satan himself. That’s right, and every person storming the streets today is being played by the devil. Not a popular sentiment, is it?

Why do you suppose racism still exists at the level it does today? Why haven’t supposedly educated, enlightened individuals been able to come up with a permanent cure for racism? The answer is so simple that its almost too simple. The reason racism still exists at its current level is because the cure for racism is the love of God, and the world has largely rejected the Source of this love.

It’s like the old adage about taking a knife into a gunfight. You can be the very best at using a knife, but against a gun you have virtually zero chance of success against your adversary. Fighting systemic racism by protests, even violent protests does nothing to address the root of the problem! To be sure, these marches have gotten the attention of the entire world. They have no doubt spawned new discussions (or soon will) on how best to deal with the problem.

But not one thing is being done to address the root of the problem: we have forsaken God.

And that, dear readers, is not something that can be corrected by marching down Main Street USA. It can only be corrected at an altar.

Have a blessed day,

Ron

Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1

[1] The Bill of Rights: Amendment 1

https://ronwhited.wordpress.com/2020/06/07/sorry-america-but-your-rage-is-misplaced/

https://anchorthysoul.wordpress.com/2020/06/10/sorry-america-but-your-rage-is-misplaced/


Family unity: A Christian alternative to orphanages

By Nermien Riad, Op-ed Contributor

Earlier this week I read Elli Oswald’s insightful piece on the prevalence of sexual abuse in orphanages. Her writing was spurred by the horrific news that an American missionary had been convicted of sexually abusing children at an orphanage in Kenya. As Ms. Oswald wrote, it’s a disturbing truth that even Christian institutions that we would hope to be safe can be perverted into havens for abusers, particularly when strong oversight is missing.

Courtesy of Coptic Orphans

What are we, as people of faith, called upon to do in the face of this kind of abuse? I would argue that the most crucial thing each of us can do is lift up better alternatives. It’s not enough to just criticize the orphanage system in general, from the stressed-out, underpaid social workers, to many Christians’ noble and honest attempts to care for kids in a group setting. Something more must be done. An alternative must exist. Let’s call it family-based care. The core idea is to keep families together whenever possible.

I am a first-generation Coptic Christian immigrant, and I first volunteered at an orphanage in my parents’ homeland of Egypt in 1988. Many aspects of life in the orphanage were shocking to me, but the most surprising thing I discovered was that many of the children there still had living adult family members who were simply too poor to care for them. 

I went on the found the Christian nonprofit Coptic Orphans on the belief that orphanages should be used only as a last resort. If the loss of a father traps a family in extreme poverty, as is too often the case, the next step should be a search for all available resources that could keep the child with his or her mother and close relatives. What do the mother and child need? Food, medical care, housing, education? We must provide those with the goal of keeping the family together, so that the children can thrive in the right environment. Independent research has shown that most of their needs can be better met within the family.

How do I know this works? I’ve seen it. By the grace of God, Coptic Orphans is blessed to work with over 550 loving church servants who regularly visit the homes of each of the nearly 11,000 orphans in our program. They cultivate a personal relationship with each child, treating them with respect and dignity. These servants assess each child’s needs — including how they can be more connected to their family and their Christian faith — and strive to provide for them, relying on the generous support of the Egyptian Christian diaspora. Education, including individual tutoring and accelerated literacy courses, is the key tool used to help orphans break the cycle of poverty.

Naturally, this model isn’t going to work every single time. But most of the time, it’s the best way to preserve the child’s emotional stability and ability to succeed in life.

I’m grateful for Elli Oswald’s effort to shed light on abuse at orphanages, and I pray that alternative models of care become available to children all over the world. Scaling up the family-based model to serve the enormous number of orphans around the globe would be a challenge. But it’s important that alternatives exist. For that to happen, the conversation has to begin somewhere. I’m glad that it’s happening on these pages.

Nermien Riad is the founder and executive director of Coptic Orphans, an award-winning international Christian development organization founded in 1988. Coptic Orphans unlocks the God-given potential of the most vulnerable children in Egypt, empowering them to break the cycle of poverty and become change-makers in their communities through the power of education. 

https://www.christianpost.com/voices/family-unity-a-christian-alternative-to-orphanages.html


Behold Two Paintings That Show A Miraculous Christmas Meeting

Two historic women, one old and one young, were the first to welcome and praise the Savior of the world. And two glorious paintings communicate the beauty of these wondrous events.

Behold Two Paintings That Show A Miraculous Christmas Meeting

Dec 23, 2019

If quizzed “Who was the first person to welcome Jesus and announce his lordship?” how would you answer? It’s an important question when we consider that this man from the nowhere town of Nazareth is the most consequential individual ever.

His teaching and followers across the globe radically transformed world culture, toppled great powers without ever firing a shot, established the world of humanitarianism and accessible medical care for commoners, inspired the scientific method, and enlivened the world movements for justice, human dignity, and individual freedom. He literally divides history and is responsible for the founding of the largest, most diverse collection of people around some basic ideals.

This all started with two women no one had ever heard of, whose life-altering experiences are now illustrated in two exquisite works of art. Mary, a humble, young virgin, by tradition about 14 years old at the time, is told by an angel she will give birth to the very Son of God. At this striking news, she “arose and went with haste” to see her cherished relative, Elizabeth, some 90 miles away.

Elizabeth was in the sixth month of her own miraculous pregnancy, for she was well past child-bearing years. Of course, her baby was Jesus’ cousin, John the Baptist.

The beauty of this part of the Christmas story is the miracle that happens the moment Mary enters Elizabeth’s home. Christ is recognized, received, proclaimed, and worshiped, and Mary and Elizabeth are not the only two involved in the divine drama here. We read in Luke 1:41-44:

And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.

This is a major event in Jesus’ story and thus the Christian church, but we seldom appreciate it as such. It is the first time Jesus is both proclaimed and worshiped as God! This was done, we are told, “in a loud voice.” And Christ the Lord is worshiped by two people at the same time — one very old, one super young.

The First to Proclaim Jesus’ Lordship

Elizabeth proclaims the blessedness of Jesus and his mother. The simple but world-changing confession, “Jesus is Lord,” was the first and most basic way Christians began to proclaim their faith and greet one another in the church’s early years. It was the first Christian creed, and Elizabeth was the first to proclaim it, long before Christmas morning. Think on that for a moment.

The second greeting is even more incredible and speaks to an intimate relationship in the Savior’s life. Baby John leaps for joy, literally, at the coming of the Savior. He does so as a child in the darkness of his mother’s womb. (Yes, Christianity has profoundly strong words for the humanity and dignity of the unborn child in John and Jesus’ remarkable in utero contribution to the good news.)

John did not start serving as the forerunner of Christ when preaching about his coming in the desert. It was here, in the womb. And it was two very common mothers, Elizabeth and Mary, who experienced this remarkable, history-changing event. It happened in distinctly womanly interiors of their hearts and wombs, and in the humbleness of Elizabeth’s home. Humble motherhood and the intimate bond only mothers can share is the human font of the Christian story.

To be sure, the Christian church, which is often incorrectly charged with being sexist by people who know little of its actual story, is founded upon two women being the first to welcome and praise the Savior. (Remember as well, it was a small group of women who announced the “second birth” of the Savior, if you will, at his resurrection.) What other major faith or philosophy has women playing such a significant role in its founding? I cannot think of one.

Two famous paintings communicate the beauty of these wondrous events, “The Annunciation” and “The Visitation.” The first African-American painter to achieve significant critical acclaim, Henry Ossawa Tanner, created both. He is a remarkable man and one of my favorite artists.

Christmas paintings by Henry O. Tanner

‘The Annunciation’

One of the things I like best in Tanner’s two works here is that he shows us the simple humanness of Mary and Elizabeth. They are not supernatural, other-worldly, saintly subjects in the typical sense. Tanner’s images show us the regular, everyday women they were.

Christmas Painting The Annunciation

He will not allow us to miss the youth, innocence, and commonness of our Mary. Tanner doesn’t give her a facial expression communicating anything obvious. Is she scared? Stunned? Joyful? Solemn? His Mary is more complex than many artists’ as is undoubtably true of the actual event. Tanner has her communicating all these feelings and struggles at once.

When the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary with this most startling news, he found a teenage girl living a typical teenage girl’s life. The greatest royal announcement in the history of the universe takes place in this teen girl’s humble bedroom, illuminated by the majesty of God’s oracle. That is precisely what Tanner gives us, and it’s just stunning. Also, his technique in presenting the folds and flow of her gown and bed coverings is nothing short of magnificent.

‘The Visitation’

As wonderful as Tanner’s “Annunciation” is, his “Visitation” is even more striking.

Just look at it and consider what’s happening here.

When Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leapt in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.

Christmas painting The Visitation

Tanner allows us personally to witness this event. Elizabeth most likely did not have any notice that Mary was coming or the grand news that prompted the visit. She sits at the table on an ordinary day, when she hears Mary possibly utter what any of us likely would as she comes to the door, “Liz, you home?”

Elizabeth’s divine surprise and wonder is dramatically communicated simply in her uplifted hands. It’s a glorious device. Are they hands of praise or surprise? Certainly both at the same time.

This simple scene of a surprise family visitation and domesticity is the first scene of Jesus being worshiped. Reflect on this a moment. The event we are witnessing right here in this kitchen is the initiation of what the rest of history and eternity will be about, the worship of the second person of the divine Trinity: Jesus, the Father’s beloved Son.

The interchange between these two women in this domestic setting is unspeakably profound. We typically move over it far too easily, wanting to get onto what we see as the center of the Christmas story, the manger.

This exchange is also vitally important because it is the first revelation of Christ beyond Mary’s heart and womb. It is the precise second and scene that commenced the worship of the Son of the God that will continue without end into eternity, the story that encapsulates a Christian’s whole reality.

P.S. Tanner Lived in Philadelphia

I knew Tanner lived in Philadelphia for some time, so on a business trip there some years ago, I wanted to see if his house was discoverable. It was, and I found it, right around the corner from John Coltrane’s home. How cool is that?

Henry O. Tanner house

Glenn T. Stanton is a Federalist senior contributor who writes and speaks about family, gender, and art, is the director of family formation studies at Focus on the Family, and is the author of the brand new “The Myth of the Dying Church” (Worthy, 2019). He blogs at glenntstanton.com.

https://thefederalist.com/2019/12/23/behold-two-paintings-that-show-a-miraculous-christmas-meeting/

The Viruses That Kills Marriages

God’s Gift

THESE ARE THE VIRUSES THAT KILL MARRIAGES?

· *Lack of knowledge of the Word of God*
Kills marriage

· *Laziness
Kills marriage
· *Suspicion*
Kills marriage

· *Lack of trust*
Kills marriage
· *Lack of mutual respect*
Kills marriage

ee4722b443ffc68ea3b03056230f39de
· *Unforgiveness*
Kills marriage -(Forgiveness is not optional but mandatory)

· *Arguments*
Kill marriage

· *Keeping secrets from your spouse*
Kills marriage

· *Every form of infidelity*
Kills marriage
-(financial, emotional, psychological, material, etc)

a2b9f347b57141002b4d0877416f9aeb

· *Poor communication*
Kills marriage

. *Lies*
Easily kill marriage,
-(be sincere to your spouse in every aspect)

· *Relating more with your parents than your spouse*
Kills marriage

· *Nagging*
Kills marriage

· *Too much talk and careless talk*
Kills marriage

· *Spending less or little time with your spouse*
Kills marriage

· *Being too independent minded*
Kills marriage

· *Love for party, money and spending/partying*
Kills marriage

92a126086c1613bc4a8ecf90c5565675

· *Exposing the inadequacies of your spouse to your parents or siblings or friends*
Kills marriage

· *Not being steadfast/fervent in the spirit*
Kills not only marriage but your life

· *Spurning  to reject with disdain or contempt ) correction and reprimand*
Kills marriage

· *Always wearing a sad face and being moody*
Kills marriage

· *FEMINISM ADVOCACY*
Kills marriage

· *Uncontrolled or hot temperament*
Kills marriage

· *Not understanding your role and position in marriage as instituted by God*
Kills marriage

· *Not being sensitive to the spiritual, emotional and physical needs of your spouse*
Kills marriage

· *When anything threatens the position/security of a wife, her reaction(s) will be detrimental to her marriage.*

· *Lack of knowledge of the Word of God*
Kills marriage

*Please, save a marriage today by sharing this.*

May God bring HEALING to every TROUBLED Home and Family
*Amen & Amen*

Our Republic

Dec 28, 2020 by Pastor Jack Hibbs

Psalm 36:1-4

“Sin whispers to the wicked, deep within their hearts. They have no fear of God at all. In their blind conceit, they cannot see how wicked they really are. Everything they say is crooked and deceitful. They refuse to act wisely or do good. They lie awake at night, hatching sinful plots. Their actions are never good. They make no attempt to turn from evil.”

As the battle for our Nation’s future continues, I am once again reminded of Benjamin Franklin’s challenge to the American people. At the conclusion of our Founding Father’s Constitutional Convention, Franklin was asked by a woman waiting in the crowd outside, “What kind of government have you given us?” Franklin answered with both a challenge and a rebuke, “A Republic, if you can keep it.” Freedom, like the Gospel, must be preached and practiced or else it will grow old and wither away.

“Facts are stubborn things,” said John Adams. But sadly, we have lost our appetite for truth. We have become a nation unworthy of the very freedoms we enjoy in this God-given republic.

Most today, but thankfully not all in the United States, are civically ignorant of their constitutional rights and biblical calling. Uninformed to the point that they have no vision nor understanding of what to do with them. They are willfully blind, having resigned themselves to 15-second sound bites promulgated by those who are themselves blind. To that end, Psalm 36:1-4 speaks to me about those boldly and brazenly committing acts of deception, lying, cover-ups, and fraud. They are, in short, political jihadists.

During these days, I have dedicated my morning hours to intercessory prayer for our Nation. I teach and preach that Jesus Christ could return at any moment for His Church in the Rapture (Titus 2:13), yet I must also occupy in this world until He comes. I must be busy about my Father’s business in all things, obedient to live it out now.

In the next several weeks your life and mine are about to be changed forever. The coming persecution and violence can only be met with an equal resolve to preserve our liberty and freedom for our children and our children’s children.

Truth is active and the pursuit of it is a vigorous ethos. Christian, be ready to defend your faith, family, and freedom. Someday, our children will ask us, “What kind of government have you given us?” May our answer to them be, “A Republic, if you can keep it.”

– Pastor Jack


How to Get Back Up When Ministry Knocks You Down

ministry

By Charles Stone -October 19, 2020

If you’re a pastor, a missionary, or serve in a church, you can’t avoid discouragement, disappointment, and hurt from ministry. The Bible even uses the not-so-complimentary metaphor “sheep” to describe those we serve. And sheep get dirty and smelly and often kick and bite. Sometimes those sheep in the church do the same to their shepherds. So when you  get kicked, forgotten, disrespected, ignored, mistreated, gossiped about, or misunderstood, how do you move forward?

The story recorded in 1 Samuel 30 gives great insight. David had just begun his career to fight the bad guys. Early on he faced a huge defeat. While he and his army were in battle far from home, the bad guys, the Amalekites, attacked the city where his family and the families of his army lived. They burned the city and kidnapped their wives and children. When David’s men discovered this, they considered removing him from his position, not by a vote of a board or a congregation, but with big rocks to the head by stoning.

The Scriptures then record one of the most beautiful verses every written. The old King James Version captures it well.

David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.  (1 Sam. 30.6)

It worked because his guys didn’t stone him but marshaled their energy and once again pursued the bad guys under his leadership.

As I’ve faced discouragement in ministry, these simple choices have helped me encourage myself in the Lord.

  • Acknowledge your pain and emotion to the Lord but don’t wallow in it. Neuroscientists have discovered that when we name our emotions, it turns down the volume in our brain’s emotional centers.
  • Journal your thoughts. Writing them down helps me stop the tendency to incessantly mull over the hurtful situation. Writing therapy been scientifically proven to help us process pain.
  • Read God’s Word, especially those verses that speak of hope and victory. Every time you read the Bible, you are actually re-configuring the circuits in your brain and reinforcing Biblical values and truth.
  • Do something pro-active. Take action to move forward. In David’s case he took specific action to resolve the problem. He rallied his troops to chase down the Amalekites.
  • Stop condemning yourself and remind yourself that you are a child of God, loved by Him with great intrinsic value regardless of whether your church is growing or whether people treat you with respect.
  • Pray for those who have hurt you. I’m amazed how God defuses looming bitterness in my heart when I pray for the sheep that bite me.

How have you dealt with your ministry pain?

This article originally appeared here.

Helped By Your Pet

7 March 10
By Rev. Paul N. Papas II

Patting your pet has been proven to be good for your health. With so many warning labels on food, medicines, and your hot cup of coffee isn’t it nice to have a natural way to nurture yourself.

Researchers are finding that pets truly have the power to heal their owners, especially the elderly. The most serious disease for older people is not cancer or heart disease, but loneliness.

Too often, people who live alone or are suddenly widowed, die of broken hearts. Love is the most important medicine and pets are one of nature’s best sources of affection. Pets relax and calm. They take the human mind off loneliness, grief, pain, and fear. They cause laughter and offer a sense of security and protection. They encourage exercise and broaden the circle of one’s acquaintances.

Patients in hospitals and nursing homes who have regular visits from pets – whether their own or those brought in from various agencies – are more receptive to medical treatment and nourishment. Animals give the patient the will to live and in nursing homes, the medical staff is often surprised to see residents suddenly “become alive.” Animals have a calming effect on humans and benefit mental well-being, especially with children and the elderly.

In recent years, the experts have been relying on pet therapy as a valuable aid in reaching out to the elderly, the in-firmed, and to ill or abused children throughout the country. Therapy animals go to convalescent homes, hospitals, day care centers, juvenile halls, and prisons. These animals are trained to be calm, gentle and well-mannered, especially around rambunctious children. There are no breed requirements. In fact, many therapy animals are mixed breeds. They come in all sizes and shapes. Cats and small dogs are good because they can be lifted easily and fit even on the smallest laps. A large dog makes a good companion for someone in a wheelchair, sitting patiently and allowing the occupant to stroke his fur.

Most importantly is that the therapy cats and dogs have a calm, gentle personality and are people-oriented. They must love attention and being petted and not be shy. In addition, they need basic obedience training and should be conditioned to not be frightened by sudden noises. They provide an invaluable service to those who are lonely, abandoned, or ill; indeed, anyone who needs the miraculous healing that can arise from a hug and a gentle touch.

Children, especially those who are abused or neglected, are able to communicate with animals. A pet offers a safe place for a child with emotional problems. They give unconditional love, providing a security blanket. A dog, cat, ferret or parrot can be the bond that glues a family together when upheaval, such as moving, death or divorce, occurs. Often, an animal can reach a child beyond an adult’s touch.

We were designed to have fellowship with each other, to love and be loved. Sometimes circumstances have become barriers to one of our basic needs, to love and be loved.

The innocence of animals and their ability to love unconditionally makes animals special. Human beings want to be part of their world, to connect with them in a mysterious and powerful way that will strengthen and nurture both humans and animals.

_ Pets help Alzheimer’s patients by bringing them back to the present. Specially trained pups can also help alert others that an Alzheimer’s patient has wandered into harm’s way. “Pets can provide a measure of safety to people with the disease,” says Thomas Kirk, a vice president of a chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association.

_ Children who suffer from attention deficit disorder (ADD) are able to focus on a pet, which helps them learn to concentrate.

_ Patients who happen to have a medical condition of a mental illness, or those with emotional problems, share a common bond when a cat or dog enters the room. Instead of reacting negatively to one another, the cat or dog boosts morale and fosters a positive environment.

_ Pets are an antidote to depression. Life in a care facility can be boring. A visit from a therapy cat or dog breaks the daily routine and stimulates interest in the world outside.

_ Pets provide social interaction. In a health care facility, people come out of their rooms to socialize with the animals and with each other.

_ Everyone has the need to touch. Many humans are uncomfortable hugging or touching strangers, even those close to them. Some people are alone and have no hands to hold, no bodies to hug. But rubbing the fur of a cat or dog can provide a stimulation that they sorely lack. The nonverbal connection is invaluable in the healing process.

_ Pets are a source of expectation, hope and communication. Looking forward to a social call or getting home after time away gives that spark of anticipation all humans need to help feel alive. Pets can help start a conversation, and help one who is struggling against unusual difficulties in learning to speak for the first time or after a speech impairment such as a stroke.

Pets have proven to be very helpful in helping victims of abuse or sexual assault to heal as well.

Professionals in the field of pet-assisted therapy find that in addition to cats and dogs, fish, pot-bellied pigs, birds, reptiles, rabbits, guinea pigs, goats, horses and llamas are also valuable healers. They have also found pets lower blood pressure and stress levels, give the patient a reason to interact, offer a chance to exercise and a sense of security and/or intimacy, allow communication, and offer continuity in life.

Studies report that children who live in homes in which a pet is considered a member of the family are more empathetic than children in homes without pets. As children get older, their ability to empathize with animals will carry over into their experiences with people.

Finding the right pet for you to fit your circumstances including your ability to properly care for them is the key. In return for proper care your pet will unconditionally love you. The bond you will build with your pet will be very rewarding.

https://preacher01704.wordpress.com/2010/03/13/helped-by-your-pet/


Related

https://news.liverpool.ac.uk/2017/03/07/family-pets-boost-child-development/