The “A” Word

May 10, 2019 by Discerning Dad

 

 

Men…we were created in the image of God to be the covering for our families…the rock, the foundation, the supplier, the hunter/gatherer, the fix-it guy, the put-gas-in-my-car guy, the guy who has all the answers for our kids crazy questions….the guy who mows the lawn and pulls weeds.

Well darn…that’s a lot of responsibility.

But do we let our family see us sweat about it? Heck no. Instead, we bottle in our feelings, restrict our positive emotional output and kick the dog when we are frustrated. If the dog’s not available, we kick the wife and kids…. maybe not physically but certainly emotionally.

A man’s hidden paradigm – anxiety – we bury it deep inside and don’t let ANYONE in to see all of it…maybe glimpses, but that’s all. The American culture is to keep anxiety buried (or medicated) so it can’t be seen. I have been (and still sometimes am) that man. The problem is that anxiety isn’t just about being worried. As men we don’t stand around wringing our hands waiting for things to get better.

We usually look for some sort of outlet to divert the need to think about the things that cause us stress…. any distraction. It can be sports, obsessing over a hobby, or maybe burying ourselves in our job. These things are socially acceptable…and the church community generally doesn’t have an issue with either.

On the socially “unacceptable” end of the spectrum, anxiety can also be the conduit that leads to other issues. We were designed to be on this earth and walk in the power and authority of God, but we trade that power and authority for other things.

Fear, Anger, Lust, Control

These attributes can be manifest in many ways…. family abuse, substance abuse, pornography, affairs…. pick your poison. If you are doing something not honoring God, I guarantee you know it. We may be very good at hiding our sins, but we know the entire time, unequivocally, that it is sin. But is this how God instructs us to deal with stress?

So, what does the Word say about how to deal with anxiety?

Let’s look at a scripture that Paul wrote while sitting in an uncomfortable jail cell, probably hungry (hangry?) and thirsty and not knowing what his fate may be at the very next moment…. a perfectly good reason to be stressed out….and probably a bit agitated.

Phil 4: 4-9 – Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Okay men…let’s break this down.

1. Rejoice in the Lord always …I will say it again, REJOICE! – God is our #1 priority! You are NOT rejoicing in your circumstances…. you are rejoicing in who God is and that He is with you during your circumstances. If you place your problems and circumstances before God, they are an idol in your life.

2. Let your gentleness be evident to all. – RELAX…. This begins very close to you and your circle of influence. At home. With the kids. With your wife. With the dog. Alone in the car dealing with traffic. At work. In public. Stop being defensive. Don’t feel the need to prove you are right. Take a cue from Elsa…. LET IT GO.

3. The Lord is near. Duh…you know this…. or at least you should.

4. Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERY situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
a. Bring your situations to God – Pray immediately and let God know specifically what your worries are.
b. Be THANKFUL – THIS IS HUGE! Let God know how much you appreciate all He has done in your life!! Think about this…. How great do you feel when your kids show you appreciation and gratitude just for being Dad??

5. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
a. Our Promise from God for being obedient to verses 4-6!

6. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
a. Verses 8 & 9 are NECESSARY!
b. Whatever unnecessary things in life cause you anxiety cut them out…This is necessary and will require for you to do some soul searching. If our current political situation causes you stress, stop watching the news, cut out social media, stop letting people bait you into conversations that get you fired up. YOU know your triggers. Identify them and leave them alone. Think about things that are pleasing to God…. I don’t think our Savior cares too much about Russian collusion.

7. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
a. And the God of peace WILL be with you. Wow! Mic drop.

Prayer: Lord – In the midst of my problems I choose to focus on YOU!! Regardless of the difficulties my path may present, YOU are GOD and YOU are MIGHTY, and YOU are SOVERGN. I will trust in YOU and LEAN on YOU for all things in my life. LORD, THANK YOU for all that YOU are in my life, Thank YOU for my family, my existence and the opportunity to REJOICE in YOU. I give my worries to YOU and accept the PEACE that YOU promise in my life. I choose today to focus on YOU and the things that please YOU. LORD, make your path and will clear to me daily. In JESUS MIGHTY name! Amen!

Jordan Lynde
Guest Discerning Dad

 

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Abortion Hurts Men Too

 

April 29, 2019 by Dr Michael Brown

 

 

When we talk about abortion, our focus is first and foremost on the baby in the womb, rightly so. We also realize the destructive impact abortion can have on the mother. But what we often forget, is how devastating abortion can be to the fathers as well.

In my forthcoming book Jezebel’s War Against America, I draw attention to the emasculating effect that abortion can have on men.

As Allen West stated when speaking to a conservative women’s group in 2011:

“We need you to come in and lock shields, and strengthen up the men who are going to the fight for you. To let these other women know on the other side — these Planned Parenthood women, the Code Pink women, and all of these women that have been neutering American men and bringing us to the point of this incredible weakness — to let them know that we are not going to have our men become subservient.”

Not surprisingly, he was ridiculed for these comments by the left, especially by radical feminists.

But the point he was making was simple: Men who have sex but do not father children are not men at all.

As I explain in the Jezebel book:

“Men are being neutered by the baby-killing culture, and when they are complicit in aborting a child they have helped produced, they degenerate from fathers to copulaters. . . . A man who will have intimate sexual relationships with a woman and not take responsibility for the consequences of his actions is not acting like a man.”

But that’s not the only way that abortion has a negative effect on men.

Men have consciences too.

They sometimes grieve deeply over the life they have taken. They feel regret because of the pressure they exerted on their girlfriend (or wife) to abort their child. They chastise themselves for failing to take responsibility, failing to oppose the abortion, failing to be faithful dads.

Some of these men have called my radio show and wept as they told their story, even if the abortion took place more than 30 years ago.

They still felt the shame. They were still embarrassed. They still felt stung by their failure to be responsible men.

Last month, we received an email from a man named Greg. He wanted to tell his story about the destructive impact abortion had on his life. And he titled his story “Murderer Redeemed.”

As he wrote:

“By God’s grace I have been redeemed from the guilt of being an accomplice to murder—three of them in all.”

Those are strong words.

He explained that he had been “the complicit father in three separate abortions,” even though he had been raised “in the ways of Christianity.”

But as he got older, he fell into the lifestyle of “sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll,” resulting in “three pregnancies with two different women [which] were terminated with my consent.”

His life continued to spiral downward, until, around 30, he hit bottom and sought help, starting with a Twelve Step program. He confessed his sins to God and man, but it didn’t dawn on him to confess the sin of participating in three abortions.

Somehow, it was off his radar, until one day, while in prayerful meditation:

“out of nowhere the recollection of the abortions I had been a part of entered my consciousness.  My chest began to heave.”

He continues:

“Tears streamed down my face yet my mind had no comprehension as to why these physical manifestations were taking place.  It wasn’t until after I had composed myself that I had come to realize that his was my spirit grieving the loss of my unborn children.  The truth of the matter was laid bare.  What I had convinced myself as being just a glob of cellular tissue was in fact precious God-given life.”

It took some time for him, with the help of professional Christian counselors, to deal with his guilt, to get healed on the inside, and to move ahead with his life.

But note this carefully: It wasn’t the promiscuity and drug use that so wounded his spirit. It wasn’t his rebellion that was so hard to address. It was his role in three abortions.

That’s what left such lasting scars, and that’s what required so much prayer and ministry.

How many men like Greg are out there today, still wounded and conflicted? How many others have lost their dignity and manhood?

Yes, abortion affects men too.

But let me leave you with some good news. Greg closed with this testimony:

“My heavenly Dad has blessed me with a wonderful wife and five beautiful children (one of which we were propositioned with to abort because he was diagnosed in the womb with Down syndrome).  I am blessed.”

Our God is a redeemer.

Original here