Bad Parental Behavior

Juvenile Criminal Law | Criminal Defense Attorney in Tampa

Image courtesy of Barnett, Howard & Williams, PLLC

Maryland resident, Cornella Rookard, drove her armed 14 y.o. son to confront another boy.  The teen fired several times at the intended victim from the backseat of his mother’s vehicle with a shotgun.  He was later charged with attempted murder.  His mother was charged with assault, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and reckless endangerment [1].

We assume parents will raise their children to become good citizens, and teach them right from wrong.  Unfortunately, that assumption is often mistaken.

Parental Impact

Parents have enormous impact on the behavior of their children.  Parental interest and encouragement can increase a child’s self-esteem, motivation, and interest in school [2].  The reverse is, also, however, true.

Children who are rejected by their parents, who are inadequately supervised or grow up amid conflict run the highest risk of delinquency [3A].  Where parents are, themselves, involved in criminal activity, that risk increases exponentially [3B].

Absent Fathers

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5: 8).

It may be painful to hear.  But the absence of a father from the home is considered the single most important cause of crime [4].  Boys who do not share a home with their fathers after the age of 10 y.o. – 14 y.o. are twice as likely to be jailed as those from intact homes.  Boys fatherless from birth are three times as likely to be jailed.

This is not intended to cast aspersions on single or divorced mothers.  It is simply to point out that fathers serve a purpose above and beyond procreation (a concept that seems lost on our society).

Parental Liability

“Parents may be held liable for their juvenile child’s crimes, depending on the state.  Some states maintain Parental Accountability or Parental Responsibility Laws which hold parents responsible for any crimes committed by their child.  The reasoning behind such laws is that parents have a legal duty to supervise and prevent their children from committing crimes and becoming delinquent citizens [5].”

In California, parents can be held liable for any “willful misconduct causing injury, death or property damage” by a minor under the age of 18 [6A].  In Louisiana, parents are liable for any damage caused by a child, without regard to their financial exposure [6B].  In New Jersey, parents may be liable for a child’s acts, though only for damage to school property, public utilities, or railroads [6C].  Financial responsibility is capped at $5,000.

“…[P]arental accountability… [can] take the form of ‘parenting classes, family therapy, community service, fines, suspension of driver’s licenses, eviction from public housing and even imprisonment’.  All of these interventions penalize parents for their teen’s actions for which the latter are legally considered responsible…

Emphasizing parental accountability may not create the desired effect on their teenagers’ case outcomes or realistically be achievable…[S]upporters of the deterrence approach view these accountability measures as fostering better parenting, which in turn discourages delinquency.  On the other hand…studies citing favorable outcomes for these programs do not include the high drop-out rate of families…

…[A]ccountability measures from fees to imprisonment…effectively ignore the social problems such as poverty or disadvantaged neighborhoods that affect parents’ ability to be accountable and further weaken families that are dysfunctional… [7].”

A Firm Foundation

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children…” (Deut. 6: 6-7).

Parents are intended to provide their children a firm moral and ethical foundation.  There may be legitimate reasons they cannot fully do this.  However, when that foundation is undermined by bad parental behavior, children suffer the consequences.  That is, in effect, another form of child abuse.

[1]  WBOC,  “Boy, 14, Arrested for Attempted Murder in Cambridge Shooting”, 12/3/20,  https://www.wboc.com/story/43003127/boy-14-arrested-for-attempted-murder-in-cambridge-shooting.

[2]  Public School Review, “Parental Involvement Is Key to Student’s Success” by Grace Chen, 10/10/20, https://www.publicschoolreview.com/blog/parental-involvement-is-key-to-student-success.

[3A and 3B]  Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinqency Prevention, “Family Life and Delinquency and Crime”, https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/Digitization/140517NCJRS.pdf.

[4]  Marripedia, “Effects of Parents on Crime Rates”, http://marripedia.org/effects_of_parents_on_crime_rates.

[5]  LegalMatch, “Parental Responsibility for Juvenile Crime” by Travis Peeler, 6/25/20,  https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/parental-responsibility-for-juvenile-crime.html.

[6A, 6B, and 6D]  Nolo, “Parental Responsibility Laws and Personal Injury”, https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/parental-responsibility-laws-personal-injury.html.

[7]  Sage Journals, “Good parents, bad parents:  Rethinking family involvement in juvenile justice” by Leslie Paik,  6/7/16, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1362480616649430.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

https://avoicereclaimed.com/2021/04/18/bad-parental-behavior/

Getting Parents And Teens Talking About Mental Health

5 Ways to Get Your Teen to Open Up About Their Mental Health

Mary Fristad, Ph.D., ABPP

Many parents find it challenging to get their kids to talk about their mental health concerns. Yet it is essential that parents understand the stresses their teens face. Prompting open and honest conversations now will help you build skills that will support your child for years to come. Your teen may be defensive or fearful of opening up. Still, if you approach with sincere love and concern, you can encourage productive, healthy dialogue.

We sat down and spoke with Families for Depression Awareness Advisory Board member Mary Fristad, Ph.D., ABPP, Director of Academic Affairs and Research Development at Nationwide Children’s Hospital Big Lots Behavioral Health Services in Columbus, Ohio. She shared these tips for navigating a healthy and open dialogue with your teen about their mental health.

1. Find Shared Activities

Talking isn’t the only form of communication. Teens will be more likely to express and share their emotions and worries over an activity they enjoy. Find an activity that both you and your teen like to do, whether it’s cooking together, playing Scrabble, or walking the dog. Keep your expectations low and relax into the activity. Sometimes just sharing a positive experience is enough.

2. Use What Works for Them

How does your teen prefer to communicate? If your son only texts with his friends, start there. If your daughter likes journaling, create a shared journal where you write notes back and forth. Fristad also encourages parents to try less “eyeball to eyeball contact.” If you notice your teen seems uncomfortable talking face-to-face, try while in the car or sitting on the edge of their bed while the lights are out. This may feel safer to many teens than looking you in the eye.

3. Validate Their Emotions

As parents, we tend to try to solve our teen’s problems. Instead, make an effort to show your teen that you understand and empathize with what they are going through. Don’t be afraid to ask your teen about their feelings. Then reflect back on what they’ve said and validated it without rushing ahead to solutions.

4. Normalize What They’re Feeling

Everyone is struggling emotionally in some way and some more than others. It can be helpful to normalize their feelings by saying something like, “It’s been a horrible year in so many ways, how’s it been for you?” or “A lot of people are feeling depressed and anxious right now, how are you feeling?” You can also acknowledge briefly that you have concerns as well. Your teen may be more likely to talk if you go first.

5. Control Your Own Emotions

If your child comes home in an angry mood, rather than responding with equal emotional intensity, picture yourself as a container that can simply hold his or her feelings. Reflecting back with curiosity (e.g., Wow, you seem really upset, did something go wrong in your day?) offers the possibility of a fruitful conversation. If you are angry with your child, consider taking a cooling-off period for yourself before launching into a discussion of the conflict. Make sure that both you and your teen are ready to have the conversation before beginning. If your teen has had previous suicide attempts, Fristad notes that you may be wary to push into emotional territory with your child. These moments can bring up guilt, shame, anger, frustration, and many other emotions for parents. Remember to breathe—long and slow, and wait until calmer before proceeding.

“When your teen does start talking about their mental health, be sure to let them know you are happy that they are opening up to you,” counsels Fristad.

Be prepared to listen more than you talk. Remember to validate your child’s emotions to help them feel understood and build their overall emotional health.

Finally, Fristad advises, “Try to stay mindful of how important this is to your child and to your relationship with them.”


Learn more

5 Ways to Get Your Teen to Open Up About Their Mental Health


How to Talk to Your Parents About Your Mental Health

A Post for Teens and Young Adults

Talking to your parents or any adult about your mental health can be challenging, uncomfortable, or even intimidating. It probably feels more natural to confide in your friends than with your parents. It can be scary opening up to your parents about feelings of depression or anxiety, partly because you don’t want to upset them.

Even though it may not be easy, having conversations with your parents or other trusted adults can help your mental health in the long run. Talking through your emotions with a trusted adult can give you more clarity about what you might be going through. You’ll likely feel less isolated. It’s also an important part of establishing a support system you can lean on when times are tough.

Families for Depression Awareness Advisory Board member Mary Fristad, Ph.D., ABPP,   Director of Academic Affairs and Research Development at Nationwide Children’s Hospital Big Lots Behavioral Health Services in Columbus, Ohio, recently shared with us common concerns that teens may have about opening up to their parents, along with some tips to make talking about your emotions more manageable.

Send up a Little Flag

If you do not feel comfortable expressing all your feelings at once with your parents, start by sharing one thing. For example, you may feel overwhelmed and depressed, lonely and isolated during COVID, tired from not sleeping well, and stressed by the school. That’s a lot to tackle at once. You might take the first step by telling your parent, “I miss seeing my friends.”

Speaking up opens the door so you can work together to find options that could help. For example, you could explore with your parent how you might connect with friends in a safe way. Fristad offers, “Can we talk about options?” as a less emotionally-charged way to start these conversations.  This allows you and your parent to compromise and find meaningful solutions to address a specific challenge. You can build it from there.

Communicate Honestly and Openly

“Parents tend to focus on behavior and may have a negative view of the behavior they see from their teens,” says Fristad. Slamming doors, skipping family meals, hibernating in their rooms, and so on. Adults often don’t realize what’s behind your behavior. One way to change this is to talk with your parents about the “why.” Sharing your feelings with a parent can give them insight into why you are feeling or behaving the way you are. This allows your parents to understand what’s bothering you and shift their perspective on your actions.

For example, if you just got into an argument with a friend, you might get angry and snap at your parents when they ask you about your day. Instead of reacting this way, help your parents understand what’s going on and causing you to feel and react this way. You could say something like, “I don’t really want to talk about it, but Becca and I just had a fight over text so I’m pretty upset. I just need some time by myself.”

What if My Parent Isn’t Helpful?

If you think your parents won’t be willing to help you or listen, Fristad suggests you should still try to talk to them. They may surprise you.

“Sometimes parents are not responsive because they are stressed or have a lot going on themselves,” she says. “Ask your parent when is a good time for the two of you to talk. Figure out the right environment to approach your parents with a conversation. It might be while going for a walk, driving to an appointment, or cooking dinner together.”

If you try to reach out to your parents and they won’t help, turn to another trusted adult in your circle such as a teacher, counselor at your school, leader in your spiritual community, or your favorite aunt. It’s important not to give up. You will feel better and less alone after talking with a trusted adult.


Looking to learn more?

How to Talk to Your Parents About Your Mental Health


U.S. Forces Parents Away From Adopted Children For As Long As Two Years

Luke and Brittney Stasi appear to have been victims of an unannounced policy change at the U.S. State Department keeping parents from bringing their adopted children home. Will Congress act?

U.S. Forces Parents Away From Adopted Children For As Long As Two Years

Aug 12, 2019 By Jayme Metzgar

Luke Stasi hasn’t seen his family since January. As his wife, Brittney, has been managing five children and a small business alone in South Carolina, Luke has spent the past seven months stuck in Africa with their sixth child, Victor.

It was December 12, 2018, when a Nigerian court finalized the family’s adoption of Victor, declaring the child (then age five) to be their son. The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service duly approved the family’s I-600 application, recognizing the adoption. Yet as of this writing, eight months later, the U.S. Consulate in Lagos, Nigeria, has failed to issue a visa so Victor can come home.

As Americans continue to grapple with the separation of families at our southern border, a quieter immigration crisis is separating parents from children—not migrant families this time, but U.S. citizens. The Stasis are one of dozens of adoptive families facing a frightening new trend: an eleventh-hour stall in the international adoption process that leaves them stuck overseas with a child who is legally theirs, but is unable to enter the United States.

‘Just Stick Him in an Orphanage’

Luke and Brittney appear to have been victims of an unannounced policy change at the Lagos consulate in particular, and the U.S. State Department in general. “Of all of the families from our adoption agency who came to Nigeria before us, their cases were approved in four weeks or less,” Luke told me in an interview. “We were seeing families get their visas in a matter of days.”

But when the Christmas holidays forced the Stasi family to wait until 2019 for their visa interview, they found a grim new reality. “Starting in January, the whole thing shut down,” Luke said. “Every family that has applied since we did is still waiting. We know of six other families who are stuck.”

Nigerian law requires American adoptive families to travel to Nigeria for a supervised “bonding period” with their child prior to finalizing the adoption. This means that by the time families apply for a U.S. immigrant visa, they have already spent several weeks living with and caring for their child in Nigeria. With the visa-approval process now dragging on for months to no end in sight, families face an agonizing choice: stay in Africa for an indefinite length of time, or abandon the child with whom they’ve been building a fragile, new bond.

“When my wife went to the consulate in January to ask about our visa interview, the consular official just ripped her head off,” Luke remembers. “‘This could take six months to a year!’ she said.” When Brittney asked how they could ever manage to stay in Africa up to a year, Luke says the staffer told her to go home and leave their son behind. “She actually told my wife: ‘There are orphanages all over the country. Just stick him in one of those.’”

Unwilling to subject Victor to the emotional damage of a second abandonment, the Stasis decided that Luke would stay in Africa, with Brittney and their five other children returning home. Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, without a single word from U.S. consular officials on the reason for the delay, a progress report, or an expected date of resolution.

“We can’t even get the names of the officials we’re working with,” Luke told me. “Everything is anonymous. There is no accountability at all.”

In addition to crippling financial costs and lost income—“We’ll probably have to sell our house when I get back just to make ends meet”—Luke says the separation is taking a severe emotional toll. “My kids are really suffering. We’ve missed so many birthdays together, Easter, Fourth of July. They’ve given up their dad so their new brother can have one. But it’s hard.”

Other adoptive families haven’t been able to withstand the strain and financial costs. Several have been forced to return to their homes and jobs in the United States, leaving their newly adopted children with paid caregivers—or placing them back into orphanages.

A Cloak of Invisibility

In all the stalled Nigeria cases, the U.S. State Department has invoked a murky investigative process called “administrative processing,” used for traditional visa applications to screen for national security threats, but previously unknown in the world of international adoption. The process is shrouded in secrecy. Last year, a State Department staffer answered one adoption agency’s query as follows: “The sections of the Foreign Affairs Manual that discuss administrative processing are also not available to the public since they are not unclassified.”

“Nobody knows what administrative processing even is,” says Kelly Dempsey, an adoption attorney based in North Carolina. “I’ve been doing this a long time, and it’s not something we ever used to see. It used to be that if the State Department thought something was wrong with a child’s file, they would mark the case as ‘not clearly approvable’ and send it back to USCIS to investigate. Then the burden of proof would be on the petitioner—the family—to answer questions and prove everything was legitimate.”

“Now, families still bear that burden,” Dempsey continues, “but they don’t even know what the issues are, or what problems the State Department is investigating. It’s this cloak of protection and invisibility that the State Department gets to impose upon adoption cases.” She notes that thus far, every family who has made it through administrative processing has been vindicated, with their visa ultimately approved. After parents and children have suffered months of delay, heartache, and financial strain, no fraudulent adoptions have been uncovered.

It’s not just happening in Nigeria. While no comprehensive data on administrative processing exists, interviews with a half-dozen U.S. adoption agencies point to a broad and growing trend. Five of six agencies reported a combined total of 34 adoption cases stuck in administrative processing since 2017. These have occurred in 11 countries, two of which have implemented the Hague Adoption Convention.

Considering that these numbers come from just six of nearly 100 American agencies doing international placements, it’s fair to conclude the actual numbers are significantly higher. The longest cases have seen parents separated from their adopted children for more than two years.

‘They Can Never Give Me Back These Two Years’

Sophie Hartman has the grim distinction of being one of the parents whose suffering has lasted longest, and there’s no end in sight. Ghana finalized Sophie’s adoption of seven-year-old Leya, who has special medical needs, in July 2017.

Like the Stasi family, Hartman promptly received I-600 approval from USCIS, as well as a visa interview. Yet more than two years have gone by with the case languishing in “administrative processing”—no visa issued, and no word on when the ordeal might end. Leya, now nine years old, remains alone in an orphanage in Ghana, half a world away from her mother and two adoptive sisters.

Leya, now nine years old, remains alone in an orphanage in Ghana, half a world away from her mother and two adoptive sisters.

“It’s so confusing to her—she just doesn’t understand why it’s taking so long, or why we can’t get this one piece of paper to bring her home,” Sophie told me in an interview. “I was able to Facetime with her some, but we decided to stop doing that quite so much. It became so painful for her that it was actually harming her as much as it was helping.”

Having lived five years in Africa and adopted two girlsfrom Zambia several years ago, Sophie tells me that dealing with the U.S. government for Leya’s adoption has been a comparative nightmare. “In Zambia, they answered my questions and kept me informed as to what was happening throughout the process,” she said. “But now, they won’t tell me a single thing. Not a word.”

Hartman has records of 14 requests she and her U.S. senator have made to various State Department officials for meetings, assistance, and updates on Leya’s case. None of these requests has yielded a shred of information.

Sophie worries that her daughter is not receiving the nutrition and medical care she could be getting at home—not to mention love, attention, and belonging. In addition, a precious bed at an AIDS orphanage has been filled for two years by a child who has a family, while other children affected by the AIDS epidemic go without care.

“Someone has to be held accountable for this,” Sophie told me. “They can never give me back these two years with my kid. They have stolen that forever. How do you buy back two years of your child’s life that you didn’t even get to be a single part of?”

‘The State Department Is Derelict in Its Duty’

It’s hard not to see the connection between this new rash of heartless family separations and the dramatic recent downturn in international adoption. Both trails lead back to an anti-adoption ideology currently governing the Office of Children’s Issues in the U.S. State Department. The chief of OCI’s Adoption Division, who was appointed to the job in 2014, once called international adoption “a profoundly problematic institution.”

Both trails lead back to an anti-adoption ideology currently governing the Office of Children’s Issues in the U.S. State Department.

Indeed, the co-opting of “administrative processing” for a new purpose fits the pattern of State Department behavior since 2017. The department has repeatedly invented creative re-interpretations of rules and policies to restrict adoption. (State has been sued twice in federal court for these improper interpretations. It lost one case, and the other is ongoing.)

Proper government oversight of international adoption is an imperative for the welfare of vulnerable children and adoptive families alike. But this lengthy, utterly unaccountable separation of parents and children—citizens of the United States—is both tyrannical and inhumane.

“The State Department is derelict in it is duty to serve American families,” Dempsey says. Will Congress stand by and allow a rogue office in the U.S. State Department to bring about the near-extinction of international adoption?

Just as this story was being finalized, Luke Stasi informed me that at long last, he’s seen movement in Victor’s case. “We’ve been reaching desperate straits,” he wrote, “and we were forced to consider leaving our adopted son here in Africa. As a last-ditch effort we reached out to friends and family and asked them to email the Department of State Office of Children’s Issues and plead that our case be completed.”

Just days after the Stasis’ friends began bombarding the State Department with emails, the unthinkable happened: Luke heard from the consulate to schedule a visa interview. “But it’s not over till it’s over,” he says, noting that the first available appointments are eight weeks away. “I won’t celebrate until I’ve got a visa in hand.”

Jayme Metzgar is a Senior Contributor at The Federalist.
Photo Photo courtesy Luke Stasi

https://thefederalist.com/2019/08/12/u-s-forces-parents-away-adopted-children-long-two-years/

Growing numbers of parents are taking a stand against moves to impose lessons on LGBT issues on primary school children

by Godinterest

Parkfield Community School

Parkfield Community School

Protesters against LGBT teaching at a primary school have been banned from gathering outside the gates of Anderton Park Primary School by a High Court injunction which was granted on the basis that the risk to children became “too serious to tolerate”. Birmingham City Council said the behaviour of demonstrators was “increasingly unacceptable” and that they pursued the injunction in order to protect staff and pupils when they return from their half-term break on Monday.

After months of demonstrations outside Anderton Park Primary School Birmingham City Council decided to pursue the legal action. The Council leader Ian Ward said “common sense had prevailed”.

The school had to close early before half-term due to escalating action.

The council said it sought the urgent injunction after the risk to children became “too serious to tolerate”.

Birmingham City Council

Protests have been held outside Anderton Park School for several weeks

Nazir Afzal who is in charge of steering talks between the council, parents and teachers, told Sky News that six weeks of discussions have been unsuccessful.

Protests have been held outside Anderton Park School for several weeks

Protesters were not made aware of the High Court application but told the BBC they still intended to gather next week on a street further away from the school.

How did it all begin?

No outsiders in Our School Teaching the Equality Act In Primary Schools, by Andrew Moffat

The No Outsiders project was the brainchild of Andrew Moffat, assistant head teacher at Parkfield Community School in Birmingham and based on a book written by headteacher Andrew Moffat.

In an attempt to teach equality amongst children in school irrespective of gender, sex, race or religion. The project aim was to change attitudes towards South Asian and Muslim homosexuality by teaching children about the Equality Act 2010 and British values. He also wanted pupils to “be proud of who they are while recognising and celebrating difference and diversity”.

When did controversy begin to unfold?

The Government intends to introduce compulsory Relationships Education at primary school level from 2020, which will teach children as young as five about “different types” of families.

Parents at seven primary schools in Greater Manchester have contacted school management to complain about proposed LGBT lessons.

In January this year a parent whose child attends Parkfield school raised a petition, claiming the teaching contradicted the Islamic faith.

How did the school respond to the growing anger?

The No Outsiders lessons were paused to allow teachers to “re-engage with our parents”, Mr Moffat said.

What do education chiefs say?

Ofsted has backed the No Outsiders programme, with its chief inspector Amanda Spielman saying all children must learn about same-sex couples regardless of their religious background.

Respecting parents

The Christian Institute’s Education Officer John Denning said respecting parents is “essential”.

“The protests reflect the lack of confidence parents have that schools are observing the proper boundaries of their role.

“The law is clear that teachers must respect the range of views amongst parents and not undermine them with one-sided propaganda.”

“It is being justified by claiming that it is required by the Equality Act, but the Act is explicit that it does not apply to the school curriculum.”

 

Original here