AZ AG Mark Brnovich: Facebook Admits to Aiding Human Smuggling – Assistant To US House Sergeant At Arms Charged With 10 Possession Of Child Porn Felonies – Porn & Trafficking Linked

By Jordan Conradson October 16, 2021

Arizona Attorney General requested that U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland investigate Facebook for their facilitation of human smuggling at the Arizona southern border.

Facebook admitted in a letter to allowing “people to share information about how to enter a country illegally or request information about how to be smuggled.”

Facebook claims to censor and remove other content that assists human traffickers and drug traffickers but AG Brnovich says that the mechanisms they use are “paper tigers”.

Facebook is somehow able to censor every conservative thought and post that comes across the internet, but they leave some room for human traffickers.

By not banning this content and allowing the promotion of illegal smuggling, Facebook is a “direct facilitator” of this heinous crime.

Arizona Attorney General Mark Brnovich made the following press release on Wednesday.

Attorney General Brnovich: Facebook Admits to Aiding Human Smuggling

Attorney General Mark Brnovich is asking U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland to investigate Facebook’s alleged facilitation of human smuggling at Arizona’s southern border and stop its active encouragement and facilitation of illegal entry.

General Brnovich wrote to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg after media reports detailed how human smugglers and drug cartels use the platform to advertise their smuggling services. After several follow-up requests by the Attorney General’s Office (AGO), Facebook provided an in-depth response on August 30th, 2021, stating it allows “people to share information about how to enter a country illegally or request information about how to be smuggled.”

“This is another example of how out of touch Big Tech is with America,” said Attorney General Mark Brnovich. “The cartels are seizing control of our southern border, and shame on anyone who is exploiting this crisis to enrich themselves.”

States are largely preempted from enforcing federal immigration laws and certain criminal statutes related to human smuggling. It is the federal government’s responsibility to enforce our nation’s immigration laws, and specifically, the Department of Justice’s responsibility to investigate and prosecute these crimes.

Copy of AG Brnovich letter.

Copy of Facebook’s August 30th Response to Arizona.


Assistant To US House Sergeant At Arms Charged With 10 Possession Of Child Porn Felonies

By ProTrumpNews Staff October 16, 2021

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) was alerted to illicit images that were uploaded to a Dropbox account.

An investigation was later launched into it.

The owner of the account was Stefan Bieret, who is an Assistant to the House Sergeant at Arms.

He has now been charged with 10 felonies pertaining to possession of child porn.

Fox 5 DC reported:

An Assistant to the Sergeant at Arms for the U.S. House of Representatives has been arrested and charged with ten felonies related to the possession of child pornography.

Detectives from the Fairfax County Police Department searched the house of Stefan Bieret, 41, of Burke and recovered multiple electronics.

Bieret works under the House Sergeant at Arms whose job is to maintain order on the House side of the US Capitol.

According to journalist Jake Sherman, “Capitol insiders will know Stefan very well.”

Epoch Times reported:

Legistorm, a platform that identifies congressional staff, showed that as of April, Bieret was employed by the House Sergeant at Arms, who is responsible for maintaining order on the House side of the U.S. Capitol complex. Bieret’s current employment status is unclear.

“Capitol insiders will know Stefan very well,” journalist and political analyst Jake Sherman wrote on Twitter. “A longtime employee of the House Sergeant at Arms. If you’re in the Capitol on a regular basis, you will have seen this face.”

THE LINK BETWEEN PORNOGRAPHY & HUMAN TRAFFICKING

P&T

In 2016, the National Human Trafficking Hotline found that 7,500 cases of human trafficking were reported that year —an increase from 5,526 cases that were reported in the previous year. The increase in human trafficking cases worldwide suggests a corresponding increase in demand. Examining the causes of the increase in both trafficking and demand is a critical step in effectively and systematically battling the issue of human trafficking. Today, we’ll take a magnifying glass to one of those causes –  the insidious, yet the inescapable link between pornography and human sex trafficking.

computer.jpeg

FIRST, THE BASICS.

Human sex trafficking is defined by the Trafficking Victims Protection Act, the cornerstone piece of human trafficking legislation in United States, as “the recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, obtaining, patronizing, or solicitation of a person for the purposes of a commercial sex act, in which the commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or in which the person induced to perform such an act has not attained 18 years of age” .

The definition of pornography is in flux as it changes to meet the ever-expanding global internet marketplace. Merriam-Webster, however, describes it in its most basic form as
“the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement”.


IN THE UNITED STATES, ADULT PORNOGRAPHY IS A LEGAL INDUSTRY, GLOBALLY GENERATING ABOUT $13 BILLION ANNUALLY. MEANWHILE, SEX TRAFFICKING IN THE UNITED STATES IS A DECIDEDLY ILLEGAL INDUSTRY, GENERATING ABOUT $99 BILLION ANNUALLY.


HOW, THEN, ARE THEY CONNECTED?

This caustic and seemingly secret link manifests itself in many ways in the trafficking industry – from supply-and-demand to the incidental psychological effects of violent pornography.

According to Fight The New Drug, a few years ago a team of researchers compiled the 50 most popular porn films and analyzed the amount of aggression and violence found within each one. The movies contained a total of 304 pornographic scenes, 88% of which contained physical violence and 49% of which contained verbal aggression. What’s more is 95% of the victims in pornographic films responded in a neutral or positive manner to that violence.

A positive response to violence in pornographic films promotes a dehumanizing and aggressive idea of sexual behavior. When emotions of arousal are connected to violence and aggression, the brain learns to associate sexual behavior with those things, which can make viewers less compassionate to victims of sexual violence and exploitation. To make matters worse, when pornographic films show people enjoying violence and aggression, the viewer is led to believe that people enjoy being treated this way. This is certainly not the case for every individual, but a study done by the University of California did find that individuals who consume porn are more likely to support statements that promote abusive actions and aggressive sexual behavior towards women, suggesting a link between the consumption of porn and common attitudes toward others. Pornography has the power to increase the demand for sex trafficking, as viewers can become increasingly absorbed in acting out what they see on screen.

In addition to spurring demand, pornography is a force harmfully wielded within the sex industry. Victims of sex trafficking reported being forced to watch porn in order to learn what they will be expected to do. Further than being used essentially as a training manual for victims, pornography is also often times utterly indistinguishable from sex trafficking. Nearly half of sex trafficking victims report that pornography was made of them while they were in bondage. This content can be used for financial gain as an online product or as an advertising tool, with the viewer none the wiser on the true story behind the camera.  

Pornography has hit us like a tsunami of dehumanizing sexual violence and the impact of it continues to be hotly contested and certainly controversial. I encourage you to see this as a launching pad for your own research into this topic. Consider looking into the data on Fight The New Drug, an organization providing information on the corrosive nature of pornography. Additionally, you can check out the Typology of Modern Day Slavery from the Polaris Project to learn more about the causes of sex trafficking and ways you can spot it and stop it.

Are you struggling with a pornography addiction, or know someone who is? Stay tuned to the Dressember blog for resources to help overcome porn addiction.

https://www.dressember.org/blog/thepornographylink

The concept of human trafficking.

VIDEO North Carolina Lt. Gov. Says He Won’t Resign After Blasting Schools for Teaching Graphic Sexual Concepts to Kids

North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson says that he will not bow to calls for him to resign after he blasted schools for teaching sexual concepts to young children.

Gov. Robinson said “I will not be silenced and I will not be bullied into submission.”

The Republican governor outraged the left when he said that LGBT issues and sexual concepts should not be taught to children in public schools while speaking at Asbury Baptist Church in June.

“There’s no reason anybody anywhere in America should be telling any child about transgenderism, homosexuality, any of that filth,” he said during the event, video of which was recently posted online by far-left activists. “And yes, I called it filth, and if you don’t like that I called it filth, come see me and I’ll explain it to you.”

After the video was posted online, Deputy White House press secretary and North Carolina native Andrew Bates blasted Robinson’s comments “repugnant and offensive.”

Democrat North Carolina State Senators Jeff Jackson and Wiley Nickel called on Robinson to resign — with Nickel saying he is “a disgrace and an embarrassment to our state.”

In a video posted to Facebook on Saturday night, the governor responded to the outrage and said that he will “continue to fight for the rights of our children to receive an education that is free from sexual concepts that do not belong in the classroom.”

Robinson also showed images from the graphic and inappropriate books that are being made available to elementary school students.

“Let me tell you plainly right here and right now: I will not back down,” Robinson said in the video posted to Facebook. “I will not be silenced and I will not be bullied into submission. I will continue to fight for the rights of our children to receive an education that is free from sexual concepts that do not belong in the classroom.”

COMMENT

It is good to see those in public office call out the filth push in schools.


Related

The Gateway Drug to Infidelity

porn

Opinions will differ. Some women will be flabbergasted at the thought, but many others are more accepting. The majority see it as an innocent substitution for when they cannot please their spouse, or perhaps even a great way to spice up their sex life. Some couples watch it together, while other women just see it as something men will do regardless. As if men are animals without control over their own sexual restraint. I recently saw this overwhelming acceptance of porn played out on a social media discussion and it saddened me so much. I realized it broke my heart because I once used to feel the same way.

I said as much to my spouse when he couldn’t understand why women didn’t see a problem with porn. I had in front of me a rare man, a lover of Jesus, who understood that pornography was demeaning to men and women alike, so I had to explain the way I used to think to him.

I used to not see a problem with porn. In fact, in all honesty, I enjoyed it. I used to watch it with my ex-husband, and porn was just a normal part of our relationship. As a wife, I wanted to keep my man happy, and if that meant being cool with strip clubs and nudie flicks then that was what I did. I thought that was normal. I thought it was healthy. I thought it was good for my marriage. But I was wrong.

The eyes are windows to the soul, so when you allow images to enter your heart that shouldn’t be there you will be negatively affected. You might not realize it at first, but eventually, it wreaks havoc on your relationship. It’s poison. It’s a fantasy that you can never emulate, not that I’m sure why any of us would want to.

Pornography gives you a false sense of sex. It takes out the love and makes it all about physical pleasure, and that’s not what marriage is at all. Porn doesn’t allow real people with real problems that must be worked out. It doesn’t deal with body image issues postpartum, but instead creates an unrealistic body ideal. Porn wrecks self-esteem of the watcher.

Pornography makes sex a game. It often depicts women being used and abused for the pleasure of a man like they are less than human. It’s animalistic in nature, makes it appear like women enjoy being weak and violated, and it’s no wonder it creates a false opinion of what women want and how they should be treated. Porn destroys healthy sexual relationships in marriage by trying to twist them into something they were never meant to be.

Pornography is an outlet for sexual pleasure. It’s an easy way for men and women alike to self-satisfy without the messy (to mean, it requires) work of a real sexual encounter with their mate. I’ll be blatantly honest at this point for the purposes of this post. Neither myself nor my husband masturbates. When we want sexual satisfaction we find it with each other. Even when we’re tired or we’re not in the mood individually we will get there for the other. There’s no time or need for another sexual outlet in our relationship. We’ve got that base covered just fine. Porn takes the place of healthy, frequent sex in marriage.

Pornography is real. I think the biggest lie we tell ourselves is that porn isn’t cheating because it’s not real people who are a real threat. It’s just a movie, or just a magazine, but what we forget is behind that camera there’s real people having real sex. They’re getting paid to have sex on screen to give you sexual pleasure. So how is that much different than prostitution? How can a wife get mad at their husband for messaging a woman on Facebook, but not bat an eye when he ejaculates over the image of a real woman being sodomized on the TV screen? Don’t for a minute think that he’s not picturing her face when he later has sex with you. Just being honest.

Because here’s the truth about porn. It seeps inside your mind and changes how you view intimacy. It changes how you are sexually excited, and it creates a wedge between a husband and wife even if they aren’t immediately aware. It’s a gateway drug to infidelity, and it’s a substitution for intimacy in your own home. It’s a lie that twists the perception of the viewer and tries to diminish its participation in the destruction of so many lives.

Have you ever wondered about the people on the screen? Or is it easier to imagine they aren’t real? Sadly they are real people with real hurts that cause them to make the choices they do. Some are victims of child abuse, sex trafficking, or other atrocities you don’t even want to fathom. They are real people being violated and humiliated for your viewing pleasure. Imagine if that was your daughter on that screen? Or your son? If you wouldn’t want to watch your own child in a porn then why do you not have a problem watching someone else’s child on the TV?

I don’t say any of this from a pedestal, but rather from a regrettable place. I’ve been there, done that, and told myself there was really no harm. I told myself it was fun, and I told myself it was helping my marriage rather than admitting the truth that it was killing it. One factor (among many) in the dissolution of my first marriage was an acceptance of pornography in our lives. I never want my words to be received as condemning, but rather me trying to pass along the things I’ve learned along the way.

Last night, I explained to my current husband that women were different than men. Sex for men is more physical, while sex for women is more emotional. Often times women will accept pornography into their marriage because they think it’s a nice additive to the sexual relationship. They like the fantasy, and their husbands like it all. Many women think porn is just something you do in your relationship, like buying lingerie to spice things up. What we don’t see is that porn is a sneaky mistress we let inside our marriages that steal our husbands’ hearts.

Laugh all you want, and say that I’m taking it too seriously, but perhaps consider this. You are worthy. While I share from experience, mostly I share from a place of love. Because you are worthwhile, and you are special and precious. And you are all your husband needs. Or you should be! When God saw Adam was lonely He created Eve. He didn’t create Eve and a good DVD. Eve was enough, and so are you. There shouldn’t be room in your marriage bed for any other woman, even the one you think is “fake” on the television. Women should be demanding complete monogamy and faithfulness in their marriages because we deserve it. We tell ourselves porn isn’t competing with us or taking away from our marriages, but that is the biggest lie out there. Porn is destroying marriages, the lives of the people on the screen, and the minds and ideals of anyone who views it. It’s the most accepted form of spiritual death out there, and sadly most wives are okay with it. It’s the sneaky mistress we open the door for and invite inside on a regular basis, and until we lock the door to it, our marriages will continue to suffer.

—-

Brie Gowen is a 30-something (sliding ever closer to 40-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler or playing princess with her four-year-old, she enjoys cooking, reading and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She’d love for you to check out her blog at BrieGowen.com.

VIDEO Graphic Content Warning: Crowd Gasps as Fed-Up Parents Read School’s Pornographic Books Out Loud at Board Meeting

Christine Favocci July 30, 2021

If there’s one good thing that came out of school closures, it’s that parents finally had a window into what their kids were being exposed to in the classroom — and many were horrified by what they saw.

That’s exactly what happened in Carmel, Indiana, where parents learned the full scope of the perversion being peddled to their children.

The school libraries there are filled with storybooks pushing radical transgender ideology, lessons on masturbation for middle schoolers, and novels with explicit sexual scenes including one describing a bloody rape.

At a meeting of the Carmel Clay School Board on Monday, outraged parents took turns reading excerpts from these materials.

They are so objectionable that it’s necessary to issue more than our usual warning of graphic content.Trending:Gov. Kristi Noem Signs Executive Order to Block Federal Government from Pushing Critical Race Theory

Watch at your own risk — but keep in mind, this smut is being made available to schoolchildren.

WARNING: The following video contains graphic language that some viewers will find offensive.

One parent spoke out against the “global campaign to promote sexualized material to grade school children which is heralded by the UN, championed by Planned Parenthood and is now making its way into the Carmel schools.”

She noted some of the titles available at elementary schools, including “Introducing Teddy: A Gentle Story About Gender and Friendship,” which uses a teddy bear to teach kids that gender isn’t determined by biology. There is also “Sparkle Boy,” about a toddler’s cross-dressing tendencies, and “Call Me Max,” in which a kindergarten girl gets a teacher to call her by a boy’s name.

(Whatever happened to reading Dr. Seuss books to schoolchildren? Oh, right — canceled by the woke mob.)

Another parent read from a novel available to Carmel high schoolers that includes a pornographic scene explicitly describing characters engaged in various sex acts. It’s too obscene to even summarize.

A third parent read from the book “It’s Perfectly Normal,” which is available to middle school children and promoted by Planned Parenthood. It teaches kids how to masturbate and is filled with nitty-gritty details.

A book called “Crank” details a disturbing rape that transpires when a young couple goes into the woods to get drunk and high on meth.

“If I had known you were just going to lay there, I wouldn’t have bothered,” the rapist tells his victim on the car ride home.Related:

The video of Monday’s school board meeting was uploaded to YouTube by the group Unify Carmel, which is raising the alarm on the wokeism pervading the city’s public schools.

Alvin Lui, a parent activist, told WIBC in May that he fled California to escape radical leftist ideology — only to find it in his new home in Indiana.

“If I [raised] my daughter in California, the schools and the culture there would teach her that her two most important things in life [are] that she’s Asian and she’s female,” he said.

Lui said he began to worry about his daughter’s new school when he saw ideas like critical race theory make their way into the curriculum, a change that no doubt came about when the district hired its first “diversity, equity and inclusion officer” in January.

“We saw a lot of little things before other people saw it because we’ve lived through it previously,” Lui said. “So for my wife and I, it kind of feels like we’re living through that same nightmare all over again except in the very beginning.”

Parents have already begun pushing back against other items on the woke agenda, but Monday’s meeting in Carmel revealed the sexual indecency introduced to children in public schools.

“If I were to read it to you, you wouldn’t be able to air it because it would be against FCC obscenity laws,” Lui told WXIN-TV. “Everyone was uncomfortable, and these are adults.”

To his credit, Carmel Clay Superintendent Dr. Michael Beresford said he wasn’t aware of the books until the meeting and pledged to look into them.

Carmel certainly isn’t the only place where so-called educators are sexualizing children — leftists are hard at work across the country.

They know that sexually active kids make great abortion clients for Planned Parenthood and turn into Democratic voters when they become impoverished single parents.

Transgender advocates know that if they can get a hold of kindergarten minds, they can recruit a generation of confused children. The doctors who prescribe the puberty blockers and perform the “transition” surgeries can get that much richer.

Beyond the political sphere, what we have here is a battle for the hearts and souls of American children.

This perversion tailored to kids stems from a diabolical determination to spoil their innocence and set them up for a life of servitude to sin.

Whether they know it or not, the teachers giving smut to their students are cooperating with the dark powers that would turn us away from God by shackling us to our basest desires. There’s no surer way to do that than to expose children to this filth early and often.

Americans now have the opportunity to see and hear exactly what’s going on in public schools — and it’s our job to do exactly what these parents did on Monday.

How and When to Stop Being a Doormat

By Sheila Wray Gregoire -April 12, 2021

stop being a doormat

Sometimes we get in a rut in marriage where we actually hurt our spouses because we enable sin. Sometimes we need to learn how to stop being a doormat. Let me begin with a story.

I know of a woman whose husband had been involved with porn heavily for years. They had gone to counselors and he had said he would stop but he hadn’t. They had talked about it for years but nothing changed.

Finally, she decided to stop being a doormat and told a few select people in her small group and the elders at her church, and the elders confronted her husband about this and told him that they were supporting the separation. The small group helped the wife to pack her things and helped her to get into another place to live. They are not divorced; they are separated. But she has tried everything else and it hasn’t worked, and now her church is backing her as she puts her husband in a situation where he has to choose: will I do the right thing and follow God? Or will I turn away?

This, I believe, is the biblical model. I have had other women on this site comment, saying something like:

MY HUSBAND USES PORN BUT HE SAYS THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE AT CHURCH, BUT I DON’T KNOW WHO TO GO TO, AND MY HUSBAND SAYS THAT HE IS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE AND I MUST SUBMIT. I’M LOST.

That is not headship! That is a cop out.

Read Next on Thriving Marriages  Are You Always Irritated at Your Spouse?

Headship should never be used as an excuse to continue in sin, or to give you a cover so that you can lead a “second life.”

There are times, I believe, when a spouse is so endangering his or her relationship with the family and with God that something must be done. And if nothing is done, then that spouse is giving cover to the sin. In my book 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage I talked about this at length. God wants marriages where both spouses chase after Him, not marriages where one spouse uses the relationship as a cover for sin. And sometimes we need some intervention, it’s part of what it means to stop being a doormat.

3 Areas Where You Should Stop Being a Doormat 

I am not going to talk about affairs or abuse or substance issues because we all already talk about those widely in our culture and in our churches, and I hope there’s agreement that in these cases steps must be taken. But too many people think, “because my problem doesn’t fit into those categories I have to live with it and there’s nothing I can do.” Here they are:

1. Porn Use

A man (or woman) who uses porn is not only participating in a sin; he is wandering down a road that will destroy intimacy both with his wife and with God, and will ruin him as a father. It cannot be tolerated. It’s one place to stop being a doormat.

2. Withdrawal from Sex Altogether

In too many marriages sex has become almost non-existent. Usually when it’s the man who withholds sex sex porn is involved. Sometimes, though, it’s simply major pscyhological and emotional damage. Maybe there are homosexual tendencies, or maybe the man has so pushed down his sexuality because it’s threatening to him in some way that he becomes passive and asexual. Maybe she has so much psychological woundedness or anger that she withdraws.

Churches have sympathy for the wife who comes in and says “my husband uses porn”. They often don’t know what to do with a spouse who comes in and says, “my husband (or my wife) never has sex.”  It doesn’t seem like as valid a complaint. In fact, if it’s the man who is going in to ask for help, often the problem will be turned against him: “what did you do to chase your wife away?” Yet in my experience when a spouse completely withdraws from sex it is often not primarily that other spouse’s fault. It is often something psychological or spiritual going on inside the spouse who has withdrawn.

Read Next on Thriving Marriages  How to Build Trust in a Marriage

We were created for intimacy with another person. We are not meant to be lone rangers. If a spouse rejects sex, they are specifically rejecting community. And they are rejecting a huge part of themselves. Do you realize how huge this is? How big a deal this is spiritually and emotionally as well? This can’t be ignored, and a person who has become asexual must be confronted and told, “you need to get counseling”.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having psychological trauma; there is something wrong with refusing to deal with it. You can stop being a doormat by insisting on counseling.

3. Financially Endangering the Family

I received an email from a wife recently who said this:

FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS MY HUSBAND HAS REFUSED TO WORK. WHEN HE DID WORK HE OFTEN CALLED IN SICK, AND WAS ALWAYS SEARCHING OUT WAYS TO APPLY FOR DISABILITY. NOW HE JUST SITS AT HOME AND WATCHES TV AND PLAYS VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY. HE’S JUST A BIG SLOB. WE LOST OUR HOUSE AND I’M WORKING TWO PART-TIME JOBS TO TRY TO PAY THE BILLS, PLUS KEEPING THE HOUSE CLEAN AND DOING HIS LAUNDRY. HE WON’T WORK! WHAT DO I DO?

A man who refuses to provide for his family, and who has become this lazy, also needs Christians to come alongside him and say, “put up or shut up”. This isn’t acceptable. I would say that the same would be true for a spouse who is consistently getting the family deep into debt with spending.

If your spouse is acting in such a way that they are denying a vital part of themselves and a vital part of the Christian life–like responsibility or intimacy or community–then doing nothing about it enables that spouse to avoid any impetus for spiritual growth.

And yet all too often that is what we’ve done–we hate divorce so much that we ignore the other side: God does not want an army of wounded, damaged people. He wants wholeness. And so we must deal with people who are refusing to confront huge issues.

Note that I’m not talking about a difference in sex drives, or problems when one spouse won’t do any housework. I’m not talking about disagreements over child rearing or over the role of TV in the house. I’m talking about things that go to the very heart of who we are as people and what is our relationship before God. And these are issues which, if not dealt with, will continue to drive someone further away from God and further into darkness.

In the old days, brothers would come to support their sister and would give the husband a pounding. That doesn’t happen anymore. But now churches need to fulfill that role.

In my book I use an example of a church intervention. A woman was married to a man who was consistently driving his family into deeper and deeper debt. She was working hard to try to keep the family afloat but she couldn’t manage it anymore because of his spending.

The elders came to the guy and sat him down and said, “we are going to help you make a budget. Then you are going to stick to it. You’ll report to one of us every week until this is all sorted out. And if you continue to overspend, we all will show up at the house with a moving van and we will help your wife get established with the kids in a house of her own until you come to your senses.”

Read Next on Thriving Marriages  Ultimatums Are Bad, Right? Actually, They’re VITAL For a Thriving Marriage. Here’s Why.

They weren’t talking about a divorce; they were saying, “what you are doing is so unacceptable that you must stop. And if you won’t, you alone will bear the consequences because we will help your wife through this.”

Churches Can Help Us Stop Being a Doormat

Now, elders should never do anything this drastic until they hear both sides of the story; but once that story is clear, if one spouse is consistently damaging the family and damaging his or her own spiritual life, then action simply must be taken. And just because they’re married is no reason to avoid taking that action.

I know most of my readers are women, and so let me talk to the women for a moment. Many of you leave heartbreaking messages on this blog about men who have turned their backs on the marriage, but won’t move out. They like someone taking care of the housework and taking care of the kids, and they like the benefits that marriage brings, even though they have rejected the intimacy and responsibility. Ladies, if you put up with this, you are enabling him to move farther and farther away from God. God did not create marriage so that we would have an excuse to not work on our issues.

If your husband is addicted to porn, deal with the internet and get him accountability. If he has substance abuse issues, get him into rehab, luxurybeachrehab.com, is an addiction treatment center website with a lot of useful information on a variety of treatment programs. If he’s cheating on you, tell someone. If he’s not working, do something.

Go to your church and find someone who will help you; who will sit down and talk to your husband, whether he likes it or not, to hear his side of the story. Someone who will walk you through an intervention process, if it is necessary (and in some cases it definitely is). And someone who will stand alongside your husband and give him the tools and help he needs to rediscover who he was made to be.

I know this is scary. Those times are rare, and please, don’t take these words as an excuse to leave your husband because he plays video games too much or won’t put stuff in the dishwasher. I’m not talking about normal marital disagreements. I’m talking about things where men (or women) have completely forsaken key elements of who they were designed to be. And in that case, your children need to witness health and wholeness and healing. So don’t stop until you find someone to help you!

VIDEO How Bad Do You Want Freedom From Sin?

 December 3, 2018  by Shane Idleman

I remember reading an article about a man who avoided the beach in the summer after admitting his addiction to pornography to his wife. He concluded that being around people who were barely covered often triggered his compulsion. Other cases involved a man who stopped visiting certain sections at a local video store and a woman who stopped reading romance novels. Both concluded that viewing this material was stimulating lust. What about the gym and the yoga pants trend? Enough said!

How bad do you want freedom? Although these examples may seem extreme, to counter lust as believers we must avoid places, people, or things that stimulate that desire. I find it ironic that most of the Christian books that were written over a hundred years ago have a strong emphasis on holiness and obedience, but today we find these words offensive. We want New Testament power but not New Testament holiness. For example, J.C. Ryle (1816–1900) in his book on holiness said that we must stand guard as a soldier on enemy ground. The problem is that many love the world and have a hard time separating. They believe in heaven, but they don’t truly long for it. They “say” that they fear God, but they don’t live like it. They indulge temptation rather than fight it. They enjoy sin rather than confront it. And they compromise rather than conquer.

The lukewarm church disdains the heat of conviction. Holiness, to them, is outdated, old-fashioned, and too conservative, but holiness is clearly biblical and always linked to freedom from sin. Most people want to coddle their sin rather than crucify it. Again, how badly do you want freedom? An extreme attack requires an extreme defense.

Proverbs 5:3 reminds us that “the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.” Sin is always enticing: it fascinates before it assassinates! But be encouraged: being tempted isn’t sin—surrendering to it is. Temptation is also an opportunity to do what is right by turning from it. First Corinthians 10:13 states, “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” The door of temptation swings both ways—you can enter or exit. If you choose to enter, once inside, you may not see the exit sign so clearly again.

To hit SIN right between the eyes, we need to “go back to the old paths” (Jeremiah 6:16)—the old paths of holiness and a deep hunger for righteousness. Accountability is great, and software protecting your phone or computer is important, but nothing compares to keeping your eyes on Christ and obeying Him. This forward motion leads to the filling of the Spirit. You can’t be filled with sin and the Spirit at the same time. One or the other will prevail depending on whether you  feed your flesh or starve it.

The context of Jeremiah’s words is very relevant for us today. God said, “When I had fed them to the full, then they committed adultery and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots’ houses. They were like well-fed lusty stallions; every one neighed after his neighbor’s wife” (Jeremiah 5:7–8). Since we crave more of what we feed, consider fasting to silence the voice of the flesh. Gordon Cove reminds us in his book, Revival Now through Prayer and Fasting, that “fasting arrests the appetite of sex because food feeds all desires and appetites of the flesh and fasting starves them. A luxurious diet and habitual overfeeding produce an unbalanced animalism” (Schmul, 1988). A free download of my book, Feasting and Fasting, is available here for those needing additional support.

Conviction is a gift from God; use it to return to the old paths. We also must stop making excuses and see the death in sin. America’s porn epidemic will continue to pervert, with the ultimate goal of destroying. Men, stop the silly video games, get off Facebook, kill your porn habit, and tell your ungodly friends to hit the road. You’re called to lead, love, and die if necessary for your family. We are the reason the nation is deteriorating. We are the reason the family is breaking down. We must stop blaming everyone and everything, from God to the government, and face the truth that we are the stench in the nostrils of a righteous, holy, pure God.

I can hear it now: “Shane, you’re being too hard on the guys.” If that’s your thinking, wake up! Life is a battleground, not a playground. In the 1970s, Ted Bundy was one of America’s most brutal serial killers and rapists, who was put to death by electrocution on January 24, 1989. He said, “I’ve lived in prison a long time now. I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me. And without exception, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography. Without question, without exception, deeply influenced and consumed by addiction to pornography.”

And Ariel Castro, who was exposed in 2013 for kidnapping three women and holding them prisoner for ten years, admitted that a deep addiction to pornography fed his perversion. He eventually committed suicide in prison. His idol promised pleasure but brought death and destruction. But don’t let discouragement and failure stand in your way. Follow the apostle Paul’s advice, “Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead” (Philippians 3:13). Forget your past mistakes, but remember the lessons learned because of them, and fully surrender your life to Christ. He is our only hope.Additional support: Both these videos will offer hope and freedom for those who struggle with pornography.

Part 1: 

Part 2: 

And a helpful article is here: 

The Peril And Power Of Porn

https://shaneidleman.com/2018/11/26/the-peril-and-power-of-porn/

AUDIO ‘A counterfeit of biblical sexuality’: Meet the counselor on a mission to help women overcome porn addiction

‘A counterfeit of biblical sexuality’: Meet the counselor on a mission to help women overcome porn addiction

By Billy Hallowell, Pureflix.com  Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Crystal Renaud Day is on a transformational mission to help women who struggle with pornography and sexual addiction, calling the former a “counterfeit of biblical sexuality.”

Day, founder of SheRecovery.com, recently shared her story on the “Politely Rude With Abby Johnson” podcast, explaining how she stumbled upon her powerful mission.

LISTEN: HEAR THOUSANDS OF FREE CHRISTIAN PODCASTS ON EDIFI

“I started doing this ministry out of my own struggle with it, and I didn’t expect to do this ministry,” she told Johnson. “It became my reality and it’s become my vocation.”

Day warned about the pervasiveness of pornography, calling it “100 percent, first and foremost, a counterfeit of biblical sexuality” — one that she said teaches a deeply skewed view of reality.

Listen to Day break down porn addiction and the ways in which people can overcome it:

The solution to porn addiction, she said, involves a plethora of components, including: accountability, community, and openly talking about people’s struggles.

And she knows this paradigm all too well from her own personal experience. Day said she was first exposed to pornography at age 10 when she saw an adult magazine, which was the spark that set off what soon became an addiction.

“At that point, I really hadn’t had a great conversation about sex … for me pornography almost became sex education and instead of turning away from that magazine … I engaged in it, opened the pages and just became consumed by the imagery,” she said. “I wanted to watch it more … [I] just really became consumed by this pornography.”

Day struggled for nearly 10 years, with her addiction causing her to place herself in troubling situations. By the time Day was 19, she said she had come to the “very end” of herself.

“I … had put myself in increasingly dangerous situations in order to get the hit, the high from this material,” she explained.

Despite Day’s desperation, things started to turn around when she encountered a woman at her church who had a similar testimony. Day was able to enter into accountability with this woman, and then started to seek counseling to discern the underlying causes of her addiction.

As time went on and Day experienced healing, she started helping other women who also struggle with pornography and sexual addiction; later, she launched her ministry.

“Thirteen years ago, I started leading my first recovery group,” Day said. “This thing they struggle with doesn’t have to be a life sentence and … there’s hope and there’s healing.”

WANT MORE ‘POLITELY RUDE’ EPISODES? LISTEN HERE!

She said many women who experience porn addiction “feel dirty” or as though something is wrong with them, but she offered a message of hope to those struggling.

“They’re cloaked in so much shame, because they’ve never told a soul about it,” she said, noting that they assume only men experience these issues. “They feel like they’re the only ones.”

But Day’s work lets these women know that they are, indeed, not alone. Find out more about her work here, and be sure to listen to more episodes of “Politely Rude” on the Edifi Podcast Network.

https://www.christianpost.com/news/counselor-on-a-mission-to-help-women-overcome-porn-addiction.html

VIDEO ‘Not if but when’ children exposed to porn online

Ryan Dobson launches seminars for churches

By Brandon Showalter, CP Reporter

Author and podcaster Ryan Dobson is launching an initiative to equip parents to safeguard their homes from everything from predators to pornography to home invasions.

In a Friday phone interview with The Christian Post, Ryan Dobson, son of radio broadcaster James Dobson, emphasized that hoping for the best is not a plan when it comes to protecting their kids. It’s not a matter of if but when, he says, regarding exposure to illicit content online.

The idea for Home Safe seminars, which he founded and will launch on Sunday, was borne of his podcast Rebel Parenting. Home Safe is a new, church-based training seminar empowering parents with the strategies and tools to protect their families at church, school, in public places, and at home, according to his website.

“We got so many calls from parents who were just afraid but don’t know what to do,” Dobson told CP.

“We used to joke back in the day that your parents had trouble setting the clock on the VCR. But we are a light year away from the VCR clock with TikTok, SnapChat, Instagram, Facebook, there’s a new app coming out every week that all our kids know how to use but parents are in the dark about what to do and they are so afraid.”

Through Home Safe seminars, Dobson — who grew up in a high-profile family in which security was always a concern — walks parents through the variety of threats families now face and offers immediate specifics on how to address them. The curriculum has an entire section about how parents can talk to their kids about pornography.

“Is it awkward at first? Yes, but you can do it. These are almost like scripted conversations you can have, and once you get your feet wet, then you’ve already started that process with your kids.”

Dobson and his team have surveyed and aggregated the best and worst resources from everything from alarm systems to porn screening software.

“It breaks my heart when I get an email from someone who says ‘Man, you’ve been talking about filtering porn, you’ve talked about the resources, and I know I should have done something,” he said, recounting a specific message he received recently, a mom who told him that she “found out my 9-year-old daughter, she and her friends Googled the word ‘butts.”’

The girls, who were just being silly, ended up being exposed to graphic content because Google does not filter out porn.

“It’s not if, it’s a when,” children will be exposed to it, he added, stressing that it’s always better that parents prepare and speak with their kids before a problem arises because then they will have “done the groundwork” and children will then approach them first instead of one of their friends or a stranger.

https://www.christianpost.com/news/not-if-but-when-children-exposed-to-porn-online-ryan-dobson-launches-seminars-for-churches.html

Waging a Smarter War on Porn

It’s a serious problem among evangelicals. But fixating on it might be missing the bigger picture.
MARK REGNERUS| MAY 17, 2019

Waging a Smarter War on Porn

Porn appears to be overrunning Christian cultures. Some have quietly capitulated. Evangelicalism, however, has not. But conservative Christians are no longer on the offensive against “obscenity,” as they were in the 1970s and ’80s. Today, they’re in survival mode. That’s one lesson we learn from Addicted to Lust: Pornography in the Lives of Conservative Protestants, a new book from University of Oklahoma sociologist Samuel Perry.

Evangelicals have a dilemma on their hands. For good reason, Perry surmises, “there can be no truce with pornography.” But the battlefield’s casualty list is fast mounting, even while the enemy’s weaponry is becoming more powerful and sophisticated. What to do? Surrender? Desert? And what of the walking wounded—leave them to the enemy? The language of war pervades evangelical discussions of pornography because resisting its siren call is hard.

Addicted to Lust is about as close to a page-turner as you’ll get with a scholarly book. Perry gets the players and the tensions right. He’s fair. He knows the science can be biased because it’s conducted by scientists—humans—who often have a stake in the answers to their questions. While he seeks to avoid rooting for one side—a noble effort to remain an impartial observer—he nevertheless acknowledges that porn has not made the world “a more humane and equitable place.”

Perry and I agree that we have overestimated addiction to pornography. Genuine addiction interrupts daily life. It’s hard to make the case that a habit hidden for years applies here. When dad’s an alcoholic, on the other hand, everyone in the family knows it. Elsewhere in his copious publication history, Perry has wondered whether the real problem is how pornography fosters masturbation, taking control over one’s solitary sexual existence. I happen to think he’s right. In other words, when we fixate on porn, we are apt to miss the bigger picture—that sexual expression is becoming more characteristic of the individual life rather than a life together.

Gratefully, very few Americans think porn is an obvious good. It is never linked with positive marital outcomes. But being a committed, conservative Christian makes matters worse, Perry holds. Why? Because porn causes a social problem for evangelicals, not just a personal one. “No one wants to be the wife of a known porn addict,” one interviewee observed.

Sexual Exceptionalism

Evangelicals suffer from moral incongruence over porn. That is, they say it’s bad but look at it anyway. Addicted to Lust explores how this incongruence—which is neither surprising nor novel—plays out in their lives and within their culture.

How bad is it? “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” wrote a 17th-century playwright in an era that could scarcely fathom our own pornified times. Evangelical wives react to revelations of spousal porn use with greater intensity, anger, and anguish than others, Perry claims. They’re more apt to classify porn use as on par with adultery. The reason, Perry posits, is “sexual exceptionalism”—the evangelical tendency to accord sexual sin greater gravity than nearly every other transgression. Believers, of course, have Scripture on their side. Sexual sin is different: As Paul states in 1 Corinthians, it’s against your own body (6:18). Ironically, most of the wives Perry interviews confess that their husbands’ revelations—tormenting though they were—tended to yield good fruit in their marriages over the long run. Confronting sin creates opportunities to know the real persons to whom we are married.

According to Perry, evangelical sexual exceptionalism compels men to “evaluate their entire spiritual condition in terms of whether they have looked at porn and/or masturbated recently.” In other words, when someone asks how you are doing spiritually, you tend to hear the underlying question as how you are doing sexually. It’s hard to know if Perry’s right about this, although I suspect he is. This is not, however, a phenomenon exclusive to evangelicals. The problem with accountability structures, though often helpful in reducing the frequency of unwanted behavior, is that they unwittingly make porn and masturbation the primary concerns of one’s spiritual life. Mix in a dose of Calvinist pietism, and you have the recipe for more despair and isolation. As “David,” an interviewee, put it, “I don’t think I have much to offer in terms of spiritual maturity. . . . I certainly couldn’t hold anyone else accountable.” American men are failing to counsel and guide their boys in part because they feel so inept themselves. This is not good.

Porn may be “every man’s battle,” but it’s not only a man’s battle. Evangelical women, like many other women in the world, wonder why they’re “not enough” for their husbands. Many men, writes Perry, “wish their wives wouldn’t take it so personally.” That’s a tough sell, since porn use “just feels more personal and violating to [Christian] women.” Amid this, Perry describes how women who look at porn are simply left out. Such women feel twice scorned—by their peers, for acting “like a man,” and by their pastors, who feel ill-equipped to counsel a sex addict who is a woman.

The issue of masturbation, in particular, highlights the challenges of living by sola scriptura. Most evangelical leaders refuse to pronounce authoritatively on matters the Bible doesn’t explicitly address. But to say nothing is not to signal nothing. (The Latin phrase qui tacet consentire videtur translates as “He who is silent is understood to consent.”) This poses problems. Given the free market in faith upon which evangelicalism thrives, it is simple to locate disagreements about the morality of masturbation but difficult to resolve them.

The absence of authoritative interpretations is obvious. One man told Perry he brings seductive photos of his wife on trips so that he can “take care of that myself (masturbate) whenever I feel tempted.” Others perform the strange gymnastics of masturbating without lustful thoughts, a path, Perry notes, that some commend. But that route still tends to leave its practitioners lonely. Several pastors held that masturbation was wrong “because it was self-centered and they believe God intends sexuality to be self-giving.” Our bodies are meant for another, as a gift.

All this suggests the body itself has a discernible meaning. What does the Bible say? That we’re to honor God with our bodies, which are not meant for “sexual immorality,” a term scrutinized like few others in Scripture. Perry notes that there is nothing like a “theology of the body” for evangelicals to consult. True. But what he doesn’t mention is that the only developed theology of the body derives from the thought and writing of a Catholic pope, John Paul II. Instead of depending exclusively on the Bible, it hinges on the living authority of the Catholic church which, perhaps most importantly here, bluntly labels masturbation “an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” If Perry thinks evangelicals need to lighten up—and to his credit, it’s not obvious what he thinks—be careful what you wish for.

Fumbling Toward Progress

While there is no evangelical theology of the body, there is what Perry labels the “purity industrial complex,” a phrase borrowed many times over from President Eisenhower’s original 1961 warning about the military’s post-war collaboration with industrial profiteering. There remains an active abstinence movement within evangelicalism, but the financial gains from fighting pornography strike me as comparatively modest. I don’t know how profitable successful web-filtering companies like Covenant Eyes are, but they appear to meet a perceived need for help. Do they work? The book doesn’t explore the effectiveness of solutions—that would require a different kind of data. It focuses instead on the squabble Perry perceives among three different levels of solution-seekers: evangelical thought leaders, pastors, and the scores of men and women who just want their solitary behavior to be better tomorrow than it was yesterday. It highlights the tension between being right and being helpful.

Evangelical leaders, Perry argues, promote quite different ways out for the beleaguered. Theologians and famous pastors, he observes, tend to stick to the Bible and encourage “leaning in” to biblical wisdom for reinforcement. Therapeutic counseling that relies on secular psychological technique remains suspect in the eyes of many such leaders. If the heart doesn’t change, they hold, behavioral changes just won’t stick. Endorsing non-scriptural methods of resistance strikes leaders as risky to their reputation as respected expositors of the Word. Perry notes this with thinly veiled ambivalence. Guilt, for the record, is a terrible motivator. And lust, according to a Covenant Eyes developer, “is simply learned behavior.”

But there are no great conclusions here. Success, however measured, is more apt to come through a combination of openness, discussion, and curbing access. Perry does note, as a sociologist might, that “it seems to be through those close personal relationships that one’s communion with God can have an effect.” Is that enough? Ultimately, Addicted to Lust is about how sinners—and their spiritual guides—fumble their way toward progress. Christians are better than their failures and collapses. They’re wooed by warring interests, only one of which offers sustained happiness. (They know this.) Years spent duking it out with the flesh remind us that the stain of sin remains. Every man and woman who’s stared at porn for any length of time knows they can remember things that, in their lucidity, they would rather forget.

Digesting this book won’t give readers exact guidance on what to do next. Good sociology isn’t like that. They will, however, have a good deal more insight into the contours of the problem. Walking in that light—and under the Spirit’s power—they might just discover a path out of the darkness.

Mark Regnerus teaches sociology at the University of Texas at Austin. He is the author of Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy (Oxford University Press).

 

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