Reality Check List for all Husbands – Reignite your Marriage

HOW TO REKINDLE YOUR MARRIAGE

The Key to a Happy Wife:

Husbands should understand the importance of emotional intimacy in marriage. This is the key to living with a happy wife. It is a well known fact that women are emotional beings, if you’re an emotionally unavailable man, your marriage will suffers from all directions. I know that maintaining emotional intimacy requires hard work due to the fact that men are not that emotional. But restoring emotional intimacy after it is lost can be a lot tougher than working hard to preserve it along the way. As a matter of fact, this is where all divorce process begins.

Validate your Wife’s Feelings:

To your wife, being understood means having her feelings validated and accepted. I know women can get overly emotional, which makes them hard to understand. But it helps to just bite your tongue and actively listen to her. “Pretend if you have to.”  It will magically calm things down and give you some breathing space. In return, she will feel loved, valued, and safe enough to allow emotional intimacy.

Marriage is Work in Progress:

Having strong emotional bond in your marriage relationship is important and worth the effort. When you take steps in the direction of strengthening this area it demonstrates your commitment to a long, strong and happy marriage. And that helps you become a better father and man, as well as being an amazing husband. If your wife is happy, it’s guaranteed that she will always desire you.

Photo by Lubov’ Birina on unsplash

Spend Time Together:

Your wife probably has a lower priority with marital intimacy than you. If you commit to meeting her other needs and desires, things will change. When you approach her for deeper intimacy, she wants to get together with compassion, not with someone who simply shares her mailing address. If you’re not spending time having fun together in all kinds of settings, she’s going to be less motivated with being intimate with you. Commit to spending at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted time with her. If you have kids, wait until they are in bed.

Put Away Devices and Take Her Out:

Making time to focus on each other without the kids or other distractions is critical to maintaining the sparks in your marriage. Deep intimacy in a relationship depends on the quality of human interaction. Electronic devices has greatly interfered with human one-on-one interaction. When you spend time with your wife, consider turning them off, look each other  in the eyes when talking. It creates deeper connection. Avoid the boring marriage spells by visiting different places together.

Spending time in pursuits you enjoy together can build good memories and experiences. Consider the things you did when you were dating, the ones that made you look forward to the next time you spend together. Remember those fan activities strengthened the bond between the  two of you. They played a huge role in your decision to put a ring on her. For this reason, you need to reintroduce them back.

Spend Time Away From each Other:

Although making time for each other in important,  time away from each other is just as important. Strong marriage relationships have two interdependent partners. Each one has a professional life or social life, they come together to invest in the marriage. Too much togetherness can be a bad thing if it deprives the marriage of the energy and experiences of interdependence. Take time to engage in some good self-care as a husband and allow your wife to do the same, and then come together as a secure and trusting partners. It is absolutely healthy to spend some time with other men. Time away allows you to appreciate your spouse more.

Make Her feel Safe in your Arms:

Your wife needs a safe and secure relationship. In order for her to engage with you from her heart, mind and body, she needs assurance that you will be there for her, that you are committed to her. There’s no short cut to this, for your wife, any physical intimacy has to be in full alignment with her emotional feelings. If you repeatedly do things that make her feel insecure, she will not allow herself to be intimate with you.

If you watch pornography or stare at other women, in her presence, you are being unfaithful. You don’t need to have an affair to be an unfaithful husband. The bible makes it clear that any lust for a woman who is not your wife is adultery.
Proverbs 5:18-19, TLB. “Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight.”

“Thought for the Soul”

Often, couples don’t realize the signs of emotional intimacy withdrawal. One spouse may be blindsided when their partner announces that they want to leave the marriage. If emotional withdrawal can be avoided, then the worldwide divorce rate can decrease.

Original here

Advertisements

VIDEO 5 Things Pastors Need to Stop Doing Immediately

Shane Idleman
Contributor to ChristianHeadlines.com Sept 10, 2019

5 Things Pastors Need to Stop Doing Immediately

Pastors, we are not just cheerleaders, we are game-changers. We are called to stir and to convict so that change takes place. Granted, there are many wonderful pastors and churches—I appreciate their ministry, but, as a whole, the church has drifted off course. They have lost the compass of truth – many are more concerned about wine tasting and craft beers than truly seeking the heart of God.  

The pulpit regulates the spiritual condition of God’s people which affects the nation. A lukewarm, sex-saturated culture (and church) simply reflects the lack of conviction in the pulpit as well as the pew.

Pastors and Christian leaders alike must take responsibility for the spiritual health of today’s church, and the nation. We don’t need more marketing plans, demographic studies, or giving campaigns; we need men filled with the Spirit of God.

This is not a letter of rebuke (I’m in no position to do that) – it’s a tear-stained plea that we once again seek the heart of God. Here are five issues we need to overcome:

1. Stop watering down the gospel. The truth is often watered-down in the hope of not offending members and building a large audience. Judgment is never mentioned and repentance is rarely sought. We want to build a church rather than break a heart; be politically correct rather than biblically correct; coddle and comfort rather than stir and convict. The power of the gospel is found in the truth about the gospel – the edited version does not change lives.

2. Stop focusing only on encouragement. We all need encouragement, that’s a given, but most people feel beaten down because they’re not hearing more about repentance – “repent and experience times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord” (cf. Acts 3:19). To truly help people, we must preach the difficult truths as well as the joyful ones; preach the cross and the new life; preach hell and preach heaven; preach damnation and preach salvation; preach sin and preach grace; preach wrath and preach love; preach judgment and preach mercy; preach obedience and preach forgiveness; preach that God “is love,” but don’t forget that God is just. It is the love of God that compels us to share all of His truth.

3. Stop getting your message from pop-psychology or the latest fad. All of us must return to the prayer closet where brokenness, humility, and full surrender take place. God prepares the messenger before we prepare the message. Without prayer, “the church becomes a graveyard, not an embattled army. Praise and prayer are stifled; worship is dead. The preacher and the preaching encourage sin, not holiness…preaching which kills is prayerless preaching. Without prayer, the preacher creates death, and not life” (E.M. Bounds). “Without the heartbeat of prayer, the body of Christ will resemble a corpse. The church is dying on her feet because she is not living on her knees” (Al Whittinghill).

4. Stop trying to be like the world. If a pastor fills his mind with the world all week and expects the Spirit of God to speak boldly through him from the pulpit, he will be gravely mistaken. “The sermon cannot rise in its life-giving forces above the man. Dead men give out dead sermons, and dead sermons kill. Everything depends on the spiritual character of the preacher” (E.M. Bounds). Who he is all week is who he will be when he steps to the pulpit. We are called to the separated life guided by the Holy Spirit not Hollywood.

When God brings change, separation and prayer have been the catalyst. The dry, dead lethargic condition of the church simply reflects our lack of being filled with the Spirit. While 5-minute devotionals and prayers are good, they aren’t going to cut it in these dire times. We need powerful times of prayer, devotion, and worship. Again, God prepares the messenger before we prepare the message. It takes broken men to break men. Unplug the tv, turn off Facebook, and get back into the Word, prayer, and worship.

5. Stop asking, “Will this topic offend my audience?” and start asking, “Will my silence offend God?”A paraphrase that is often attributed to Alexis De Tocqueville—a Frenchman who authored Democracy in America in the early 1800s, helps to better understand this point: “I looked throughout America to find where her greatness originated. I looked for it in her harbors and on her shorelines, in her fertile fields and boundless prairies, and in her gold mines and vast world commerce, but it was not there…It was not until I went to the churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her success. America is great because she is good, and if America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.”

Is your pulpit aflame with righteousness – it all begins here.

More at www.ShaneIdleman.com.

Watch, I Remember When the Church Prayed

Photo courtesy: Getty Images/4 Maksym

Video courtesy: Shane Idleman

https://www.crosswalk.com/church/pastors-or-leadership/things-pastors-need-to-stop-doing-immediately.html

EFCA Now Considers Premillennialism a Non-Essential

The denomination drops end times doctrine from its statement of faith in a move to “major on the majors” and “minor on the minors.”

EFCA Now Considers Premillennialism a Non-Essential
DANIEL SILLIMAN AUGUST 23, 2019

 

The Evangelical Free Church of America (EFCA) changed its position on end times theology, voting this summer to drop the word “premillennial” from the denomination’s statement of faith.

Many of the 350,000 people who belong to EFCA churches still believe Jesus will return to earth to reign as king for 1,000 years, but the denomination no longer considers that doctrine essential to the gospel.

An internal document explaining the rationale for the change says premillennialism “is clearly a minority position among evangelical believers.” Premillennialism has been a “denominational distinctive” for the EFCA, according to the document, but shouldn’t be overemphasized.

“The thought was, we must either stop saying we are a denomination that majors on the majors … and minors on the minors, or we must stop requiring premillennialism as the one and only eschatological position,” said Greg Strand, EFCA executive director of theology, in an interview with Ed Stetzer.

The revised statement says, “We believe in the personal, bodily and glorious return of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Whether or not Jesus will set up a literal kingdom on earth for a millennium is left to individual discretion.

The EFCA has been considering the change for more than a decade. John Woodbridge, a professor of church history at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS), the ECFA-affiliated seminary in Deerfield, Illinois, spoke in favor of the shift back in 2008.

“People really saw high stakes in the move. One person of great stature told me that if you give up premillennialism, you will give up biblical inerrancy,” Woodbridge told CT. “For me, I never made that connection. John Calvin, Martin Luther, and others, certainly in the Reformed tradition, had a high view of Scripture, but they were never premillennial.”

The US church didn’t accept that argument in 2008, but the Canadian branch of the denomination did.

“It just happened to be easier for us,” said Bill Taylor, executive director of the Evangelical Free Church of Canada. “There’s a stronger dispensationalist history in the US than we have in Canada.”

Taylor said, looking back, the change was good for the Canadian evangelicals—and the darker predictions didn’t come true. “We’ve had no slippery slope to an allegorical approach to the Word,” he said. “There’s no pull toward liberalism, so there’s no negative impact in that way.”

When issue came up again in the EFCA leadership conference this year, a majority of US delegates were ready to vote to drop the word premillennial. The revision passed 79 percent to 21 percent.

Matthew Avery Sutton, a US historian at Washington State University and the author of American Apocalypse: A History of Modern Evangelicalism, was surprised by the timing.

“Emphasis on premillennialism waxes and wanes,” Sutton said. “There are moments of tremendous global chaos in which the church returns to premillennialism, and there are moments of more peace and stability, during which premillennialism takes a back seat. I am surprised that this is one of those moments in which the Evangelical Free Church of America is backing away from it. Things seem pretty chaotic to me, and the future looks pretty dark.”

The change was met with nonchalance at TEDS, where the faculty signed the revised EFCA statement of faith before the start of the school year.

“It’s not a huge topic,” said Graham Cole, the academic dean. “I’m not aware, of all my years here, of any big controversy over the issue.”

Dropping “premillennial” from the faith statement will mean one big change for Trinity, though.

“We’ll have a much larger pool from which to hire,” Cole said. “Our faculty have to hold to an inerrant Bible and the gospel of grace, but that eschatological barrier is removed.”

https://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2019/august/efca-drops-premillennialism-evangelical-free-church-teds.html

VIDEO Twenty Evangelicals Who Pray with the President

Compelling list of religious leaders who have the ear of the president speaks volumes about our commander-in-chief’s faith

A force more powerful than a hurricane

Chuck Norris urges readers to be ‘God with skin on’

September 1, 2019

(Post-publishing note from the Norrises: Last night after I already completed this column,”A force more powerful than a hurricane,” Gena and I heard about another barbaric shooting in West Texas that took the life of seven precious souls as well as injuring 22 others. What a tragedy! Our hearts are broken and our prayers go out to our fellow Texans and the victims, families and friends. The heart of this column even addresses – maybe providentially – the best weapon to eliminate such evil from our planet, too.)

The whole country and news media is rightly on edge watching where Hurricane Dorian will hit and with what force. We can debate all day long the disastrous effects of a Category 3, 4 or 5 with its 100+mph winds, but if it’s our home and town that Mother Nature was bearing down on, it’s all bad news. And experts are saying that Hurricane Dorian could be more devastating than Andrew in 1992.

Many cities and whole islands have already been hit. Just few days ago, experts were estimating minimal damage from Dorian’s wake. On Friday, the stakes increased as weather services estimated “the total damage and economic loss caused by Hurricane Dorian will be $18-20 billion.” If the storm moves even slower than current expectations, that estimate could be exceeded.

AccuWeather Founder and CEO Dr. Joel N. Myers explained the $18-20 billion cost this way: “The estimate includes damage to homes and businesses, their contents and cars, as well as job and wage losses, infrastructure damage, costs to the Labor Day travel and tourism industry and [even] Disney World, as well as auxiliary business losses. Citrus crop and vegetable damages are likely to occur, as well as unexpected impacts such as possible tornadoes.”

And who can truly assess or put a value on the loss of life and limb in addition to the material and consumer loss by the exodus of myriad visitors and tourists from the coastal areas of Florida, Georgia, and South and North Carolina that will have grave consequences far beyond Labor Day?

My wife, Gena, and I live in Texas, and we’ve seen first-hand the devastating effects of hurricanes like Irma, Harvey and Katrina. What is often overlooked is the threat of water contamination, especially with the added danger of storm-surge flooding That is why we were honored to donate water to victims of Harvey from our new C-Force Water Bottling Co.

Anyone who has ever been through a natural disaster – or had a loved one or friend who has – you know there’s nothing easy about suffering through it or recovering from it. Depression can become one of your greatest foes. People even turn on God and blame Him. They ask, “Where was God when tragedy hit my home?”

I’m not a theologian, but I like the way our pastor said it: “No amount of theology or rational reasons can heal a broken heart. What we need to do in times of tragedy is be there for one another – to be the hands, feet and heart of God for others. We need to be God with skin on.”

Where’s God when a hurricane or tragedy hits home? He’s inside of us, wanting to break out in love, mercy and generosity to help. As we debate topics like, “Where’s God in the storm?” He’s just wondering how we’re going to love our neighbors, even when they’re in Florida or beyond.

If you’re at a distance, please donate to relief agencies like Franklin Graham’s Samaritan Purse or Salvation Army, which will no doubt both have boots on the ground in Florida. If you’re able to travel, consider volunteering your time in helping with one of these groups.

If you’re local or know people in the hurricane zone – especially the elderly and handicapped, check on them that they have all the essentials. Keep it simple. Keep it practical.

FEMA actually gives a great emergency list for hurricane preparedness:

At a minimum, you should have these basic supplies:

 

  • Water: one gallon per person, per day (three-day supply for evacuation, two-week supply for home)

  • Food: non-perishable, easy-to-prepare items (three -day supply for evacuation, two-week supply for home)

  • Flashlight

  • Battery-powered or hand-crank radio (NOAA Weather Radio, if possible)

  • Extra batteries

  • First aid kit

  • Medications (seven-day supply) and medical items

  • Multi-purpose tool, like a Swiss Army knife

  • Sanitation and personal hygiene items

  • Copies of personal documents (medication list and pertinent medical information, proof of address, deed/lease to home, passports, birth certificates, insurance policies)

  • Cell phone with charger

  • Family and emergency contact information

  • Extra cash (ATMs might be inoperable)

  • Extra fuel for generator and car

 

Depending on your family’s requirements, you may need to include: medical-care items, baby supplies, pet supplies and other things, such as extra car and house keys.

Additional supplies might include towels, plastic sheeting, duct tape, scissors and work gloves.

Resources that offer additional information on putting together emergency kits are online here and here.

If your life is safe, healthy and blessed, thank God for it. But remember, next time tragedy might be knocking on your door, and what you’ll need most is a loving hand to help (“God with skin on”). So it is that we should be the helping hands to others in their times of crises. There’s no greater unifier of people than being there for them in their difficulties.

Mother Teresa was right again: “Love is not patronizing and charity isn’t about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same – with charity you give love, so don’t just give money but reach out your hand instead.”

Whether we’re facing the torrents of nature or the evils of a human heart in another brutal shooting, the Good Book says it well: “Perfect love cast out all fear.”

Love is a force more powerful than even a hurricane.

Original here


Hurricane Dorian Public Advisory

https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/text/refresh/MIATCPAT5+shtml/020257.shtml

Hurricane Dorian 11:00pm Update – Expanded Warnings and Watches on FL East Coast, A Few Miles Can Make a Big Difference…


 

Praying With Fire

What Moses and the burning bush teach us about approaching God.

DEREK RISHMAWY| AUGUST 19, 2019

Praying With Fire

There are many reasons I don’t pray: distraction, busyness, or the sense that I should be doing something. These are all terrible, of course, but I think the saddest reason is simply boredom. If you’ve grown up in church or simply acclimatized to the secular air we breathe, prayer can appear as small potatoes. It’s something good you know you’re supposed to do because God, like your Great Aunt Suzy, would like you to call more often. But there is little urgency or anticipation.

How much would change, I wonder, if we looked to the story of Moses and the burning bush as our paradigm for prayer?

We begin inauspiciously enough, with Moses tending sheep in Midian. Here he is, minding his own business, living his everyday life, when the fantastic intrudes upon him. On the “Mountain of God,” he sees a bush that was on fire, yet “it did not burn up” (Ex. 3:2). Unlike every other flame, this one uniquely did not depend on the bush for fuel, so it did not consume it but was nevertheless somehow transcendently present within it.

Curious at this sacred phenomenon, Moses approaches but stops short when God calls him by name from the flame, “Moses! Moses!” After recovering from the shock, he humbly replies, “Here I am.” To which the Lord responds by warning him, “Do not come any closer. . . . Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground” (Ex. 3:4–5). Moses rightly obeys, and from there his improbable interview with the Flame continues with the astonishing gift of the Divine Name and a commission to liberate Israel.

The whole encounter is remarkable, but it is particularly significant that the Holy One appears as fire, not to repel but to attract Moses—to cause him to draw near so he can meet with him and call him by name.

You see, Israel would come to know a more fearsome Yahweh revealed by fire. When the Divine Warrior routed the Egyptians at the Red Sea, he did so as a pillar of fire (Ex. 14:24). When they met their Redeemer at Sinai, he appeared in lightning, smoke, and flame (Ex. 19:16–25). Out of that flame he spoke to them, inviting them into his covenant. Predictably, this glory was so terrifying that they asked Moses to mediate for them—the fiery One was far too much for them. Importantly, as Israel was about to cross over to the promised land, Moses reminds them of their fear, telling them not to construct idols, for Yahweh “your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God” (Deut. 4:24; 5:4–5, 23–27).

It’s only in light of that later reminder that we can appreciate the marvel of Moses’ experience at the burning bush: In that moment, the God who is Fire did not consume. Instead, with gracious condescension, he invited Moses into the intimacy of personal relation, of address, of communion, of the exchanging of names.

Here the warmth, the presence, the mysterious and inviting light of God the Fiery One was on display. And yet, with the clear warnings about how Moses was to proceed, we are given to understand that God is still one and the same overwhelming Flame that Israel would prove unable to bear for most of its history.

Thankfully you and I, as participants in a better covenant, also have a better confidence “through Christ before God” (2 Cor. 3:4). We can cry out, “Abba, Father!” (Rom. 8:15) as we draw near to God “with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings” (Heb. 10:22).

And yet, the author of Hebrews warns that although he is “ours,” this God is nevertheless “a consuming fire” (Heb. 12:29).

In which case, none of this intimacy with God should ever be an excuse for the familiarity that so often breeds contempt. Certainly, there is no place for lethargy or boredom. To pray is to enter the Temple, the high and exalted place, where the Holy One dwells in majestic light (Isa. 57:15). It is to call on the name of Yahweh, the fear of Israel (Isa. 8:13).

Considering the One we are praying to, there should be an exhilarating rush of adrenaline and a quickening of the pulse when we take God’s name on our lips. We are called to pray anywhere and everywhere, but we should still look to “remove our sandals,” approaching him with holy trepidation, joy, and awe. Prayer is nothing less than an intimate encounter with the voice from the Flame.

Derek Rishmawy is a doctoral candidate at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.

Have something to say about this topic? Let us know.

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/september/moses-burning-bush-prayer-fire.html

VIDEO Antonio Sabato backs Best Buddies after charity comes under fire for honoring his volunteer work

By Joshua Nelson

 

After Best Buddies, a nonprofit that helps disabled kids, took heat for honoring Trump-supporter Antonio Sabato for his volunteer work, the actor, model and onetime House candidate pushed back hard in an appearance on Fox News Friday.

“These liberals are out of their minds. I have been nice, I been loving my whole life. Just because I support a different idea, you’re going to put me down?” Sabato told “Fox & Friends.”

Best Buddies is a volunteer-based, non-profit that connects intellectually challenged and developmentally disabled people to opportunities by arranging one-on-one friendships.

FOUNDER OF BEST BUDDIES KENTUCKY WINS $100,000 BETTY JANE FRANCE HUMANITARIAN AWARD

The organization angered some of its supporters when it recently honored Sabato, who describes himself as a Republican and Christian.

Fox News host Steve Doocey read an email from a person who withdrew support of Best Buddies and asserted children should be protected from “garbage.”

Sabato responded, “Let’s talk about garbage and all the garbage in California that these Democrats have done to that state; Let’s talk about all the garbage they spill in young kids at schools; Let’s talk about releasing God away from everybody nowadays; No love, no God, just blame the president. That’s wrong.

“Being involved with Best Buddies, being around people with disabilities, just brings the best out of people,” Sabato said.

Sabato said he left California and moved to Florida and is starting a YouTube channel.

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: